Opposing Forces
By Jeff
Chapter 1, Part 1- The Life of Dwayne Louis Carmichael
The story of Dwayne Louis Carmichael starts here, a tale of my satirical and dysfunctional life. A junior, at a decent age of sixteen, forced to spend most of my life in what I call prison...or common everyday term would be "school." For somewhat who hates school as much as I do, one might think of me as a loner or anti-school spirit...the irony of all this...I am the Junior Class President, an avid participant on our school board and dance committee, a member of our award winning concert band and an actor in our school musicals and plays. I figure, hell, if I am forced to spend four years of my life in this hellhole of a high school, I might as well suck it up and make the best of it. And to top it off, I am gay. Not bisexual or I "might" be gay...I mean, how can you "might" be gay...you're either attracted to guys, or you're not. Simple as that. Of course I'm not out at school, but I don't deny it if anyone ever accuses me of it. So...no flaunting! but no denying either. Got it? Okay, moving on to the immediate family members.
I have two siblings, Jane (the older one) and Ben (the younger one). I am the middle child, and I have yet to recover from my middle child syndrome. Jane, the senior, is a nerd. Well, nerd is a harsh word...I guess academically gifted. She's already been accepted to about 6 out of 10 colleges that she has applied for...and I think her final choice is USC...wise-choice, sunny southern California, near Disneyland! Meanwhile, my family is situated in central California, in good ol' Silicon Valley (so if I was her...I'd move far away as well). Jane is the socially deprived and retarded one in the family, she gets nervous near people...yet she expresses her feelings towards me just fine. Funny how you can project your opinion towards your little brother, but feel like vomiting at the sight of an audience. My brother Benny, the sophomore, is the jock (Politically correct: Athletically Gifted). He plays every sport and participates on our football, soccer, and tennis team. Quite a fan with the ladies, yet he remains single...checking out the scene so to speak. He's not the brightest crayon in the box, but he gets by. So we have a nerd, a prep, and a jock. My parents? My dad works in the advertisement industry, the type of guy who tries to come to every event (math contest, school elections, sport games). He spends his free time pruning and planting his stupid garden that ends up dying by autumn and obsessively polishing the Pathfinder he bought himself last Christmas. My mother is saner, a Spanish teacher at another high school nearby...she's the housewife from hell. Neat, perfectionist. Overly involved in our lives (study groups, costumes for plays, fundraising for the sport teams)...so basically, we can't get rid of my parents. All right, so the dysfunctional is introduced...moving on to the more dysfunctional part of my life...my friends.
My friends...are thank god, down-to-earth, honest, and blunt. No superficiality, no backstabbing/shit-talking. Absolutely NO drama in our group whatsoever, makes our lives a tad bit simpler. I hang out with basically three other people, I mean, we have a large group, but these three were my childhood friends and whom I remain close friends (if not best friends) with. Clarissa Montgomery (or Clar for short), the girl in our "foursome". She's the type that drives most guys up the wall: smart, intelligent, funny, spontaneous, wild, and not too feminine. Jacob Quesada (or Jake), another school-involved individual...our junior class Vice President (we campaigned together) and Art Club President. (Hey, the guy is a brilliant artist). And lastly, Ryan Knickenbocker (or Ry). He's probably my best friend since our encounter in kindergarten. We had been playing in the sandbox and I took his truck, he started crying and shoved sand up my nose. So I started crying...guess he wasn't too great at sharing, and we both ended up in the classroom on time-out. We became great friends and we tortured half our elementary and middle school teachers together. He was the musician in our group; he played the clarinet, quite well if I might add. I play the saxophone, so we're not even in the same section in band. So he does band, plus he plays tennis and badminton. So these are my weird friends, so now the story starts and the introduction can end...
Chapter 1, Part 2- The Hardship of Monday Mornings and the Deprivation of Caffeine
"I need sleep," Clar whined on Monday, as we gathered around our table to seat down.
"I need food," Jake chimed in.
"I need to copy your Spanish homework," Ry added.
"I need my sanity because my friends are driving me crazy, and the day has just started!" I said in one quick slur.
"Whoa, I think you overdid it on the caffeine this morning," Jake said.
"Yeah...I think so." I admitted.
"Well, anyways...our Winter Formal is just around the corner and I was thinking that we should..." Clar started and continued to go on about the dance next weekend. "...And, HEY! Did you guys even hear a single word I've said in the last minute?"
"Huh?" Ryan said, looking up from his Spanish worksheet.
"I'm offended," she said. "I'm a witty conversationalist, if I may say so myself."
"Yeah well," I said. "Try being on this side of the conversation."
Jake and Ry snickered, while Clar glared at me with her icy blue eyes.
"Sorry," I said. "Taking last comment back."
"Good," she said.
"Ok, good," I said.
"Good," Jake said.
"Good," Ry finished.
"Next topic of conversation is..." Jake started.
"Tyler Callihan." I said, watching this boy approach the vicinity of our lockers.
"Tyler Callihan?" Jake said, confused.
"DON'T mention that name," Clar said, her icy blue eyes shining with anger.
"No," I said, clarifying. "I mean...I haven't really seen him this whole year, and now his locker is apparently next to mine."
"Well, just your luck Dway," Ry said, again looking up from his Spanish worksheet. "But I'd just ignore him anyhow, with what he had done to us and all."
What DID he do? Curiosity killed the cat, but hell, I'll tell you anyhow. Tyler Callihan was one of us, until we hit seventh grade. I guess puberty was catching up with all of us...and hormones were flying every which way...and Tyler wanted to be in the "IN" crowd...be popular...those superficial bimbos. So he left us and ignore us since then, and four years later, we still can't hold a decent conversation without bringing up some old memories of seventh, eight, ninth, and tenth grade.
"Hey Ry," I said, fumbling through my backpack. "Did you take out my Spanish book?"
"No, just your binder."
"Damn, I have to go to my locker," I said.
"Now?" Clar said and dropping to a whisper, "With him there?"
"Well, I have Spanish next and the bell is going to ring in a minute so I don't care," I said as I picked up my backpack and headed towards my locker.
I reached for the dial of my locker, when I felt his eyes staring at me.
"Can I help you with something?" I asked, as I lifted the tab to open my locker.
"This is your locker right here?" he asked, his jaw still slightly dropped.
"I'm taking a book out of it, aren't I?" I said, a bit more sarcastic than I wanted.
"Just a question, no need to get all bitchy," he said, slamming his locker shut.
RING! The bell rings before I could retort back a comeback. The hall began to swarm with numerous students, attempting to go to their homeroom. I made my way to Mr.Duvarte, my homeroom and Spanish teacher. All the seats were taken by the time I got there (with two minutes to spare), so I took a seat near the back by this guy name Joel. Mr.Duvarte took roll briefly, even though he has had us in his homeroom class for two and a half months now. Some girl read the announcements and the students began to gossip and chatter about their past weekend and so forth. I scanned the classroom and I caught another set of eyes, looking straight at me. It was Tyler. Since when was HE in my homeroom class, guess sitting towards the middle/front blocked my vision...and his name (on the roll list)...guess I blocked out his name. He's still looking at me, as if he's studying me.... could he be CHECKING me out? I made a silent mental note to check into Tyler Callihan. He's still staring, what's his problem?
The homeroom bell rang and I moved towards the front where my seat was in Spanish (which I had next). Soon, my Spanish class started to file in and Ryan grabbed the vacant seat next to mine. I forgot Tyler was in this class as well, so he remained towards the back, hopefully focusing his attention on someone else.
"Tyler was staring at me in homeroom," I whispered to Ryan.
"What do you mean staring?" he asks. "Like an 'I'm going to kill you' stare or more like an 'I want you look' type of look?"
"With the choices I give," I said while pondering. "The latter one."
Ryan chuckled, he had found out I was gay when I came out to him last summer. He didn't even flinched or blinked; he just nodded, smiled, and hugged me.
"Don't fill your head up with that inflated ego of yours," he said. "Your head is big enough as it is---"
I slugged him on the shoulder hard...
RING! The bell screeches to announce the beginning of first period.
Mr.Duvarte takes roll briefly and moves onto the "fascinating" lesson over the difference between por and para. As Mr.Duvarte drones on about por and para, I sense this odd feeling...the feeling when you sense someone looking at you. I was afraid to turn around...but I did anyhow. Just as I suspected, Tyler quickly looked away, averting eye contact.
"He's doing it again," I whispered to Ryan.
Ryan took a brief look over his shoulder, "He's doing it as we speak."
"Alright class," my teacher said. "With the semester coming up so soon, I am assigning you and a partner, chosen by me (groans), a project on Spanish grammar mechanics. Each pair will get a certain area to cover in Spanish grammar, and each pair is expected to make a poster and give a brief but informative presentation. Project is due at the end of this week."
He begins to read off each pair off...he calls out "Ryan Knickenbocker..."
Oh God, please call my name! I wished frantically.
"...And Bernice Jackson."
BERNICE?!? That better be some weird nickname given to me by Duvarte...because I am always partners with Ryan in this class. As I was thinking this, a shy girl moves towards us.
"Brace yourself," I whispered.
"Why do I get screwed with the shy chicks," he said, smacking his forehead.
"Just your luck Ry," I said, laughing softly.
I was enjoying this torment, teasing Ryan until he was going to blow.
"And lastly, Dwayne Carmichael and Tyler Callihan."
And that's when I STOPPED laughing, and clearly, it was Ryan's turn to laugh at me. Partners with TYLER?
"Mr.Carmichael, I suggest you close your mouth and move towards the back with Mr.Callihan." Duvarte advised.
"Mr.Duvarte," I said, dropping my voice to a whisper. "There's been a mistake right? I couldn't be partners with Tyler Callihan."
"Quite the contrary Mr.Carmichael," he said, checking his stupid list. "Right here, I have you down with Tyler Callihan."
"Well, it's just that...with all due respect Mr.Duvarte, I don't think I would function or work well with Tyler," I replied back.
"Well," he began. "You're going to have to try hard then, won't you? This project is a third of your grade, so I suggest you start cracking out that smile of yours and get moving."
I grumbled and picked up my backpack and moved towards the back. Tyler had moved over from his cliques and he flashes a fake smile and pats the seat next to him.
"Don't even start," I hissed.
"Well, hello sunshine," he said sarcastically.
"Look, I'm only here to do the project and...."
"Look Carmichael, I'm not thrilled about us partnering up either, so I'll make it easy for the both of us. I do half the research, and you do the other half."
"That's swell and all," I replied. "But what about the poster?"
He must've forgotten about the poster, because he gave me a blank look. A look of confusion. "Damn, I forgot about the poster. Well, we can meet in the library at lunch or something and we can piece it together then."
"I'm not putting a third of my grade at risk because we're just going to "piece it together.'"
"You want meet OUTSIDE of school?" he asked, surprised and intrigued. Personally, I think he was more intrigued than surprised.
"Guess we're going to have to." I said, slowly. "How about tonight? Can you ditch whatever you're doing to do this project? Sooner we can get this thing over with, the sooner we can go our separate ways."
"Fine." he said. "My house is always opened. You know the fam; just swing by after school or something. My mom want to keep you for dinner."
"I don't know about dinner," I said hesitantly.
Honestly, I haven't seen this people for about four years now, how could I possibly converse with them?
Chapter 1, Part 3- A Stroll Down Memory Lane and Lasagna
"Tyler Callihan," my dad says with a large sigh. "Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time. How is ol' Ty?"
"Dad, I don't want to get into it," I said. "Can I just go? Quick bite, work on project, and home I go."
"Sure, I guess," he says. "What ever happened between you two anyways? You were so closed."
"Puberty happened Dad, that's what."
With that I went up to my room to finish the remainder of my homework before going to the Callihans.
Why am I nervous? It wasn't like a date; it was a project assignment with the devil...or keeping with the story, Tyler. I rang the doorbell, and I could hear someone running to get it. The door swings open and there stood....
"DWAYNIE!"
Oh geez, I haven't heard that in a while. It was Tyler's six...no wait...recalculation TEN year old sister, Katie. Katie encircles me with her arms and squeezes tightly.
"Hey Katie, I'm going to have to breathe sooner or later," I said.
"I missed you," she replied sadly.
"I missed you too Katie," I said, and I ruffled her hair.
"Mommy, Daddy! Dwaynie's here!"
Mr. and Mrs. Callihan came into the hall where I was still standing and they both grabbed me into a great bear hug.
"Dwaynie, you've grown so much!" Mrs.Callihan commented.
"Well, it has been four years Mrs.Callihan," I replied wittily.
"What's this Mrs.Callihan business? I'm Judy, remember?" she said, still smiling.
"Ah, time's moving fast there Dwaynie," Mr.Callihan...I mean James said.
"I made your favorite for dinner," Judy said. "I hope you still like my..."
"Four cheese lasagna," I said.
"Great! You still like it!" Judy responds beamingly.
"Squirt?"
That voice.... it belonged to Tyler's older sister Sharon. She was a sophomore in college and she's called me squirt since I was a toddler.
"Shari?" I said.
And WAM, I was bombarded with another hug.
"Home for the holidays?" I asked.
"Yeah, taking a nice month off from college."
"Humboldt State or Chico?" I asked.
"Neither, I switched to Pomona State. Guess Ty didn't fill you in huh?"
"Honestly, we don't talked that much anymore," I said.
The whole family mumbles in agreement.
"Well," James said. "Let's move to the dining room, I think Tyler just stepped into the shower."
"Oh, that's fine," I said. "I'll just hang with Katie here until we eat."
Katie screams with delight.
"I'm glad to have you back here," says James.
"Thank you James, it's great to be back."
Dinner was being put on the table when Tyler came downstairs. He was dressed in track pants, and a Pomona State University sweatshirt.
"Glad to see you've made it here in one piece," he says commenting on my appearance.
"Thanks," I mumbled back.
I sat down next to Katie (she insisted) and across from Tyler. Great, I can stare at his face while I chew my food.
"Wow, we haven't had lasagna since..." Tyler began but didn't finish.
"Since your twelfth birthday party," I finished.
Awkward silence.
"I remember this one time when I dressed you and Tyler up like girls when I was babysitting," Sharon shares. "I was about 12 and you guys were 8...and I had to tie you guys down onto two chairs, because you didn't want make up on."
Ah, the fond memories of cross-dressing. More memories were dished out at the table. Katie laughed at my stupidity, who doesn't? I could sense Tyler getting uncomfortable. Suddenly, the conversation turned to academics and well...girlfriends.
"Have you got yourself a girl yet?" James asked.
"Nope, just concentrating on my studies." I responded.
Oh, good answer, I said to myself. Beats telling them that I'm gay and I would rather suck cock than lick tits or pussy.
"That's great!" James said. "I like a true scholar. Ty here is working on a basketball scholarship into UCLA or Stanford, the "big" guys." Emphasis on BIG.
"Basketball?" I said, giving Tyler an inquisitive eye. "Very.... what's the word...ambitious, I think..."
"May I be excused?" Tyler suddenly blurted out.
His whole family sat in silence and stared.
"Just put the plate in the sink," his mom said, still giving Tyler a strange look.
"I'm just going to take a walk, I'll be back in a few minutes."
We could hear him walk down the hall and slammed the door closed behind him.
"Was it something I said?" I asked.
James and Judy shook their head. "Something's been wrong with Tyler lately," Judy began. "He just comes home and locks himself in his room all day, he doesn't go out as much or have friends over. I think he misses Clarissa, Ryan, and Jacob...and most importantly, you."
"Me?" I asked, almost squeaking.
"Oh yeah," Sharon said. "You were his best friend, and then now he hangs out with these...people."
"The in-crowd," I said.
"More or less," Judy said sternly. "They're nice people, I'm sure. But they are such a bad influence on Tyler."
"Maybe I should go check on him," James said. "It's been about five minutes and I don't see him in the front yard."
"I'll go," I said placing my napkin down. "I have an idea where he might have disappeared to."
"Alright, be safe," Judy said. "And don't forget a coat. It's getting cold out there."
I put on my gloves and button up my coat and set out for this quiet park by their house. Gardner Park, if I remembered correctly. A beautiful park with a bridge that extends over a deep lake. It was a brief walk but I saw him standing there. Leaning over the railing, he was ...thinking. I approached him, he jumped at my presence.
"How did you know where to find me?" he asked.
"The bridge was where you'd always go when you wanted to think or get away from the folks," I said, remembering this place he had learned to love years ago.
"You still remember all that?" he asked.
"More or less," I said.
Something was wrong, I could feel it.
"What's wrong Ty?"
"Nothing Dway. Nothing important."
"Well, it must be if you had to come here to think. Plus, you're not your sarcastic self.... it's as if you're somewhat..."
"Human?" he finished.
"You said it, not me," I said.
"Yeah well," he said. "I don't feel human anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"I hang out with these moronic idiots that I call my friends, all they care about is chicks, money, and sports. They just sit there and make of everybody, as if they're kings of this world...and...."
"So you don't do all this stuff you're accusing them of?"
"Of course I do, there's nothing else TO do. Why am I telling you all this? You could care less. Nobody cares about me anymore."
"Your family cares Ty, believe me, they care."
"MY FRIENDS DWAY!" he said, his voice rising. I could sense tears about to erupt. "I don't HAVE any friends, I have no one to GROW UP with...no one to tell my problems or.... or secrets..."
"What secrets do you have?" I asked gently.
"Just secrets ok?" he snapped.
"Alright," I snapped back.
"There's just no point in living anymore," he said, leaning closer against the bridge.
"Tyler..."
"If I disappeared off this face of the earth, it would do good for a lot of people..."
Still teetering on the railing.
"Don't say that Ty."
"What do I have left Dway?" Tears spilling out of his eyes.
"Your family, your basketball scholarship..."
"FUCK my basketball scholarship...I won't be getting one...because I don't play well enough for Stanford or UCLA or any of the "BIG" guys.... there, happy? Someone you despise and hate...has no future or life...call THAT ambitious? Face it Ty, I wasn't meant to live..." Teeter...Teeter.... too far...
"Dw---"
My attention snapped up, I could see in slow motion...my ex-friend, arch-enemy...someone I had spent my childhood with...I see Tyler, lost and confused, spinning helplessly over the railing of the bridge...and I blinked.
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