Tales From The Quarry

Chapter Eight - Rafe

My senior year in high school started out great, and after a few months things were going as perfectly as anybody could ever hope for. I had a lot of friends, several of whom were very special to me, and I had a boyfriend who was more than special. Brian and I were in love, and our love for each other seemed to intensify with each hour we spent together. We had been together for six months that October, and had spent that time learning each other. I was the only openly gay kid in school, but that hadn't mattered for a long time. Brian wasn't quite ready for others to know about his sexuality, so we were just close friends as far as the rest of the school was concerned. Only a few other gay kids knew about our relationship.

Hiding our feelings wasn't a lot of fun, but it wasn't difficult either. Brian was still a sophomore, so our only real contact at school was at lunch most days, and even then we didn't always sit together. That part wasn't by design, it just happened sometimes when our usual table was full or one of us just decided to sit with someone else for a change. We had our evenings and weekends and a few places where we could go to get alone for awhile. Our parents were aware that we were gay and in love, and they were very accepting of it. Even so, neither of us felt comfortable attempting anything sexual in our own homes.

We certainly enjoyed our sex, but we weren't driven by it. Our love got passionate often enough, but I, at least, felt that it was an almost intellectual bond that we shared. I was smart enough, but Brian could be brilliant. There were no difficult concepts for him, only things he didn't know before, and he was really great fun to talk to.

Our friend, Dave Devino, came to us one day with a concern about two kids in his freshman class. He had met Jason and Alex on the first day of school and briefly introduced us in the cafeteria that day, but they were freshmen and I was a senior and we made no more than a polite connection. Dave was now concerned because there had been rumors at the kids' last school that they were gay and a couple. He had no reason to believe it or not at first, but watching them had convinced him that it was true. Dave was concerned for them. They were nice kids from good homes, but neither of us knew if the school was ready for a gay couple and Dave thought they were being a bit too obvious sometimes. Dave sat with Alex and Jason almost every day at lunch so they were automatically A-list, at least in the freshman class. They both were good looking and seemed pretty bright, they just had a hard time hiding their feelings for each other.

Dave and I cooked up a plan to get the bottom of things. In the middle of October he invited them to a boys-only camp out at a fort in the woods at another friend's property. They got permission, not knowing that all the boys save two would be gay. Dave felt that he owed it to his new friend Tony, who was straight, to let him know that he was in love with another boy. Tony's girlfriend had a brother in ninth grade, so he was invited too. Dave was pretty sure that it wouldn't matter, but none of us knew anything for sure.

The Friday before the big day I sat with Dave, Jason, Alex and Tony at lunch. Tony had his girlfriend Marcy with him, but it didn't matter for our purpose. Dave looked up as I approached. "Hey, Rafe! You sittin' with the worms today?"

I smiled and sat down, saying hi to everybody. "You mean freshmen? That don't exactly make you bait you know."

Alex seemed to think that was funny. He grinned and said, "Davy just said you're goin' campin' with us. This is so cool! I can't wait!" He excitedly touched the back of Jason's hand. "It's gonna be so much fun!"

I asked, "You guys know how to ride dirt bikes?"

Jason grinned and piped up, "No, but Davy says we gotta learn! I'm ready to wet my pants thinkin' about it, but it sure sounds fun!" Tony's girlfriend Marcy slid over a seat after Jason said that, but I think it was just to be funny. It made everybody chuckle anyhow.

I asked, "Do you both have rides? Me or Bri could pick you up."

Jason said, "My father or brother will bring me. You know Mitchell don't you? He's on the wrestling team!"

I stared. "Mitchell is your brother? I didn't know that. He never said a thing about having a brother." I immediately regretted my words.

I remembered hearing some things about a guy going after a kid he perceived to be queer earlier in the year and the whole wrestling team scaring the guy off. I just never put it together with Mitchell and Jason, but it was Mitchell's little brother. Mitchell, who I think would hit anyone who called him Mitch a second time, was a great kid. I wondered why he'd never mentioned a younger brother, then I remembered that his parents had died and he was being fostered by somebody from his church. I didn't know the details, but his life sounded complicated enough without me asking questions.

Jason didn't seem upset by my remark. "Mitchell's my brother, not my mother. He's older and we don't do much together except at home." Jason's look got a little sad. "I don't think he wants to associate with me away from home. I'm not exactly what he expected."

I didn't want to ask what Jason meant, but a few other people at the table did and he fended them off pretty well. Alex looked horrified at first, but as he watched Jason and heard his way with words he relaxed.

The next day Brian and I were the first ones at the fort. We had to make a few trips to haul all our stuff up from the car, and there was still a huge container of oxtail stew my mother had made for our supper. When Dave and Tim showed up, Jason, Alex, Tony and Chuck all in tow, they had to do the same thing. We busied ourselves setting up a tent and straightening up the area while waiting for our other friends, Adam and Eddie, to show up. There was plenty to be done and we were well on our way when we heard somebody say, "The place looks great, guys!"

We all turned to face Adam and Eddie, both wearing knapsacks and carrying sleeping bags. They were looking great, Eddie in the midst of a growth spurt from the looks of things. I had only met him a few times, but he seemed taller and his jeans seemed to be a little too short.

It didn't matter, what did was the happiness in both of their faces. Eddie was a handsome kid, but Adam had always been awesome looking. He turned heads wherever he went, but when I first knew him he seemed like a sad person, a loner. Eddie too. When I met him he was a wreck, contemplating suicide. A twist of fate, Dave's insistence, and Dave's friend Richie's follow through had brought these two together and the result was pure human magic.

Where there had been sadness and fear before, there was now radiance, happiness so evident that, in Brian's words, if you made the comparison the solar system didn't have a chance to outshine them.

Dave made the introductions, and everybody was in a state of high excitement. Except for Eddie and Tim we all went to the same school. Dave knew everybody, so he said something special about each of the kids who were meeting for the first time. It was mostly the situation we were in, off on our own for a weekend of fun, but everybody seemed to hit it off automatically.

We had four kids to teach dirt biking to and three bikes, only one suitable for a beginner. Adam and Eddie eagerly took Tony and Chuck to give it a try. The rest of us went to the yard to take turns with Ken's dune buggy and just generally hang around.

Tim took Alex out for a ride and Alex was white-faced and jittery, but laughing and happy when they got back. Tim had always scared the crap out of me when he drove, and I expected that he'd take it easy on a younger kid, but it just wasn't his style. Timmy was quiet and relaxed most of the time, but put him behind the wheel and another person, a real daredevil, emerged. Brian once called him a professional underpants stainer, and Tim took that as a high compliment.

When Dave took Jason for his turn Tim went inside to talk to Ken, who owned the place. Brian and I got a chance to talk to Alex. I looked at him, his face spattered with bits of mud that he wasn't aware of. "So Alex, how was your ride?"

"AWESOME! He's NUTS, but I loved it." He was talking fast, "He aims right at trees and rocks, goin' like a hunnert miles an hour, then he just misses them. I'm surprised my pants aren't wet!"

Brian smiled and added, "Or worse!"

Alex looked a little embarrassed. "I'm not too sure about that part yet."

I laughed, "So how long've you known Jason?"

"Jason? He lives across the street. We've known each other like forever, but it's different since his folks died. Their church hooked him and Mitchell up with a guy whose wife died and he moved to their house."

I asked, "He's the foster father?"

"Yeah, his name's Dan. They're pretty cool there. Dan would do just about anything for them, he's a good guy and a good cook and everything. I'm there as much as I'm at home. Jason likes to sing and he's real good. His brother tries to write songs. The tunes are pretty good, but the words are kinda lame. He's gettin' better though."

While Alex was talking, Brian had taken hold of my hand with his own. When Alex noticed that his eyes went wide, then he looked away in embarrassment. I said, "Ah, you knew I was gay didn't you, Alex?"

His eyes went back to our hands and he nodded, looking a little dumbstruck. I said, "Well, Brian's my friend, my boyfriend. I hope this isn't too weird for you. If it is we'll stop, but this is one of our safe places, one of the places we can come and just be ourselves. Is it okay?"

His face was pretty red. He gulped and said, "Uh ... yeah, I guess it's okay. I've just never seen two guys ... ah ... before. If ... if you don't think it's weird then ... well, okay by me."

I let go of Brian's hand. "Sorry, Alex. I was just hoping you'd be okay with it. Just don't go telling people at school about Brian, okay? It's not a big bad secret, but we don't want any trouble."

Alex looked injured. "Really, it didn't bother me! I know ... I mean ... um, it must be nice ... to know there's somebody else like you."

Brian took my hand back and smiled at Alex. "It is nice, it's real nice when you know you're not the only queer on the planet." He leaned around me a little so he could look Alex in the eye. "I used to think I was the only one, then when I started high school I heard about Rafe. It wasn't love at first sight or anything, but when I looked at him all I saw was normal. When I got to know him he was normal," he turned and looked at me, smiling a little, "well, not normal normal, like special normal. Rafe's gotta be one of the most decent people ever born, and when I got to know him I ... fell in love. Guess what? He loved me back!"

Brian got to his feet and pulled up his shirt, revealing his stomach. "Look at this, Alex! I'm butterball city. You wanna know what Rafe calls me?"

Alex giggled, "What?"

Brian dropped his shirt and stood up straight, pulling his tummy in and pounding his chest with one hand, "He calls me his Beeg str-r-r-r-ong Man!" Alex laughed, but Brian continued. "You know what? When I'm with him that's what I am! Big and strong, just like Rafe." He sat back down, "You can't know what it's like, Alex." Brian grinned his best, "Love is beautiful!"

Alex opened his mouth to speak, then it just opened to a gape when the dune buggy came flying out of the woods, Dave besting Timmy's landing point by a good five feet. I don't know how he did it, but it looked like the front tires hit the ground and the car spun around in its own length, coming to a turf-spitting stop that seemed so abrupt I expected to see nosebleeds.

Dave hopped out with a big grin. Jason was grinning too, but he held onto the rails of the car for a second to steady himself. Dave came over laughing and asking where Timmy was. He headed into the house to find him and probably boast about his landing. Jason walked towards us and Alex pointed at him and started laughing. "You're all mud!"

Jason grinned and pointed back, "You're not? Where'd ya get those brown freckles then?"

Alex stood up and the two of them stood there looking at each other and laughing about mud like it was the funniest stuff on earth. The sound of motorcycles entered our ears and became rapidly louder. We all turned to look and saw Tony and Chuck both on the big bikes. They made a grand entrance, doing circles around us, then the little 90 came wheezing into view with Eddie driving and Adam sitting on the gas tank in front of him.

Between the four of them they had enough white teeth showing through grins in their dirty faces to build a picket fence around the White House. Eddie and Adam dismounted, as did Tony. Chuck got off, but his bike fell towards him and he had to make a mighty leap to get out of its way. He turned around and looked at the bike as if it were a traitor, then began laughing. "I told ya it was too big!" He looked towards Jason and Alex, excitement all over his face. "These things are AWESOME! You guys are gonna shit bricks!"

They were all there and I figured it was as good a time as any to let the others see what Alex already had. Davy had been confident that Tony wouldn't bat an eyelid, but we were all a little concerned about Chuck.

He was the same age as Tony, Alex and Jason, it was just that he seemed less mature, more like a kid who was twelve instead of fourteen. Brian and I stood up and I cleared my throat to get their attention. "Um guys, " I took Brian's hand, "we were just tellin' Alex and we want the rest of you to know, " I pulled our hands out a little in front of us to make sure they'd notice, "Brian and I are a couple. We're in love."

Three jaws dropped a little, though nobody said anything. Alex was staring straight at Jason, who gave him a nervous look before turning back to Brian and me. Tony spoke, "You know, I kinda thought there was somethin' goin' on with you two. You look at each other the same way Marcy looks at me. Dave and Timmy ain't foolin' anybody either." He suddenly looked shocked by his own words and gulped, "I didn't mean to say that, honest. It ain't my business."

Brian spoke softly, "It's okay, Tony. You have good instincts. What matters is this: does it bother you?"

Tony was a little hesitant, enough that I was getting nervous about what he'd say. He finally pointed at our locked hands, then looked up with an earnest expression on his face. "That's gonna take some gettin' used to," then he broke into his usual friendly smile, "but I'll get used to it."

I said, "Thanks Tony, you're a good kid." I looked at Chuck, who appeared to be downright nervous. "Chuck, are you okay?"

He stuttered and squeaked, "I ... I ... I guess so. I ... I ..."

Brian smiled gently, "Questions?"

Chuck nodded rapidly and Brian said softly, "We'll talk, Chuck. It really doesn't affect you one way or another, so it's probably just gonna seem weird at first, okay? Nobody's gonna bother ya."

Chuck took a few deep breaths, then instead of saying anything just nodded his head, more slowly this time. I looked at Jason and Alex who were looking nervously at each other. "How about you guys?"

They both spoke at once, but all they said was that it didn't bother them. Adam spoke up, "As long as we're all bein' honest." When everybody looked that way Eddie and Adam were holding hands too. Once again jaws dropped, especially Tony's and Chuck's. There was silence, then it was broken when Tony turned and spread his arms as if to protect Jason, Alex and Chuck.

He yelled, "We're surrounded, guys! Head for the hills!"

That broke the tension and everybody laughed, everybody except Jason and Alex. They were still staring at each other as if they were trying to read each other's minds. They held the gaze for a long time, then with an almost imperceptible nod they turned to face the rest of us, Jason reaching for Alex's hand while they did so. They both had the same expression, nervous and determined at the same time.

Tony took a potshot and said merrily, "You guys weren't kiddin' anybody either." He grinned at Chuck, "I guess it's just you and me, Chucky." His grin became evil. "You know, you're almost as cute as your sister! You'll do in a pinch!"

The shocked look on Chuck's face got everybody laughing hysterically and he joined in after a moment. We were still laughing when Tim and Dave came out to join us. Davy asked, "What's so funny?"

Tony said, "You guys can hold hands now!"

Timmy looked happily surprised. "Really? With who?"

That made us laugh some more and we all were pretty happy as we walked back to the fort to eat the mountain of sandwiches that Dave had brought. Jason and Alex had a big basket of homemade fried chicken, Chuck brought a ton of chips and other munchies, Brian provided soda and ice, and Eddie and Adam had brought lots of sweets, both cakes and candy. Timmy had beer in his trunk for anybody who wanted some later.

After we ate Dave and Tim took Jason and Alex down to the front field to learn the dirt bikes. I took Tony for a ride in the dune buggy first so Brian could take Chuck out after and spend all the time they needed getting the kid's questions cleared up.

When Tony and I got back from our ride we grabbed two fishing poles and dug up a few worms, then walked down to the pond to try our luck. We had a little, catching some bullheads. We just tossed them back, thinking we had plenty of food. Neither of us wanted to clean fish anyhow. We had been making idle conversation about nothing in particular when Tony asked, "What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"You know ... bein' queer. I mean, it's okay I guess, I just don't get why ya don't like girls. Am I dumb or something? You guys all seem so cool, but ya go pickin' boys instead of girls. I guess I don't understand why."

I reeled in my line so I could talk without distraction, trying to think of what to say as I did so. I smiled, grimly probably. "Tony, it ain't somethin' ya pick, believe me. Do I seriously look like a mental defect or something? I got ragged on for half a year when I told people. I lost all my friends. My life was shit, then Davy happened."

Tony giggled, "He happened?"

"Yeah, he happened! I met him on the school bus and in a week my life was turned around. He can kick ass with the best of them and he gave people good reasons to leave me alone, but that's not the big thing. He has this way ... he made me feel important! That's not the right word, he made me feel good about myself, as good as anybody else whether I was queer or not. That's what turned it, 'cause when I felt good I was good. I started makin' friends hand over fist because I wasn't afraid anymore and I was havin' fun, and everybody likes to have fun."

Tony had been looking at me when I talked, then he smiled a very sunny smile. "Heh, I guess Davy happened to me too. I met him on the bus too, but I was all scared of startin' high school, figurin' I'd have to fight my way through. I heard all the stories about him, but he was just so fuckin' nice! I mean, that's how I met Marcy and Chuck and Alex and Jason. They're all my friends now, but that first day I didn't even wanna know Alex and Jason. In eighth grade it started up how they were queer, so when they got on the bus I wanted Dave to beat 'em up. You know what he did instead?"

"A little, I never heard the whole story."

"He went and talked to 'em, made me talk to 'em. He didn't care if they were queer or not, he just wanted to meet 'em. Well, guess what? We talked and I liked them both, and after talkin' to Dave I didn't care if they were queer or not. Now I know and I still don't care."

I chuckled, feeling a new appreciation for both Tony and Dave. "What happened with Marcy, I mean, how'd you two hook up?"

"Oh, man, it was the same day! We're in the lunch line and Marcy and Chuck are ahead of us. They didn't have enough money for two lunches, so Dave just paid for them. I mean, Marcy argued with Dave, but I just looked at Marcy. She wasn't in a good mood, but she was a knockout. When we were lookin' for a table I told Davy he was nuts. Know what he said? That he'd just done a good thing, that he had money and they didn't and that was it. I really didn't get it, but then the next couple of days instead of buyin' 'em lunch he gave the rest of us else extra money and we just gave them food. Like if we bought too much and couldn't finish it all."

I smiled hearing that, it was so much like Dave. When he was giving and it embarrassed whoever was on the receiving end, he just found a roundabout way to do it. Tony went on, "After the first day I really had the hots for Marcy, I mean, like ... she's my dream girl. I was afraid to ask her out, she wasn't too friendly to us, but Dave made me take a chance." He beamed his best smile at me, "You know the rest, I am soooooooo in love." His look turned questioning, "Is that the way you feel, I mean about Brian?"

I thought back to when I'd first met Brian, then had to laugh. "Brian wasn't what I expected, Tony, not the guy I thought I wanted. When I first met him and Adam it was Adam who had my eye. I mean, my God, that kid is beautiful to look at. Don't get me wrong, I really love Adam, but it was Brian's smarts that got to me." I felt like I was messing up. "I don't mean that Adam's dumb, only that I really love Brian's mind. When I was thinkin' about all this I didn't even know either one was gay, I was just tryin' to make friends. Both of them are friends, but Brian's head kinda won out over Adam's looks."

I peeked at a confused looking Tony and put my hand on his shoulder, which caused him to flinch. I immediately pulled my hand back and said, "Sorry." Tony sat there for a second, then leaned into me and pulled my hand back to his shoulder, wrapping his arm around my back.

"That's nice, Rafe. I know just what you mean. I liked Marcy at first because she was cute, but she's so smart and so funny ... that's what I love, it's the best part, it's what gets me horny all the time."

I grinned, "You get the horn all the time?"

Tony looked up at me and smiled, "Yeah, big guy, but only with her." He giggled, "It's the same with you and Brian?"

I didn't know for sure but guessed it must be the same feeling. "I think so. I love the hell out of him, that's all I know. Brian's my man!"

Tony was quiet for a moment, then he said almost dreamily, "Marcy's my lady."

We sat like that for a few minutes, then I commented, "You're really a nice guy Tony. I'm glad we're friends."

He sighed quietly, "Me too, Rafe. Me too."

We lazed silently for awhile, then got back to fishing, releasing the few that we caught. The dune buggy made an appearance behind us and we put our poles down, looking at Brian and Chuck, who seemed to be getting along fine. I found it hard to look at Brian and not touch him, but it didn't feel appropriate right then. I raised my eyebrows to ask if things had gone alright, and Brian smiled to say they had.

I said to Chuck and Tony, "It's our turn to play. You guys fish or whatever, we're gonna burn some gas, okay?"

They both looked disappointed, not that it mattered. Brian and I needed to compare notes and just be by ourselves for awhile, so we left them at the pond and took off in the duner. We had all agreed ahead of time that holding each other's hands and casual embraces were all that we'd subject our straight friends to. It was only common courtesy to begin with as we didn't want to freak them out, but the only other thing we might do with others around would be to kiss. For this weekend anyhow, it seemed better to do even that in private.

We drove up to the top of the cliff at the quarry and sat with our feet hanging over the edge. It was quite cold and windy there without the protection of the woods. We warmed each other with a hug and a kiss, then I asked Brian, "Chucky's okay now? I have the feeling that we scared the heck out of him."

Brian smiled a little, "That much we did." He looked up, "You know, Chuck's really a nice kid, but he's kinda naive about anything that has to do with sex. I asked him if he couldn't talk to his father about the basics and he thinks he can, so I tried to explain in general terms what a gay attraction was compared to a straight one. I don't think it's my place talking about sex acts of any kind with a fourteen year old, so I tried to get him to understand that we're not some kind of monsters trying to get little boys out of their clothes. Anyhow, I think he gets the idea and doesn't think it's too weird, just that there's so many of us here he did get scared. I mean, he really likes us, especially Adam and Eddie for teachin' them the bikes."

I snuggled up closer, feeling the bite of the wind. "Yeah, he seems like a good kid. I like Tony too, that boy's gonna go places. I touched him before, just put my hand on his shoulder, and he about jumped out of his skin. I pulled away, but a minute later he put my hand back and snuggled right up to me."

Brian grinned, "Rafe, the father figure?"

I elbowed him, "Not in your lifetime."

We held each other for a few more minutes, then Brian shivered and said, "It's freakin' cold up here."

I said, "Yeah, but it's beautiful." I had been concentrating on Brian, but the vista before us was gorgeous. There were still plenty of leaves on the trees and they were a riot of color, the sky was blue with puffy silvery clouds here and there, the only thing wrong was the cold air and the wind. I didn't want Brian to freeze, nor did I want to leave right away. "Put your hands in your pockets."

He snickered, "I'd rather put them in your pockets."

I giggled. "That'd warm me up." I reached over and put my hand between his legs right at the crotch, then said clinically, "They say this is the warmest part of the body. I think they're right."

Brian's hand cupped me. "Wow! I think they're right too." He looked at me and, just before he kissed me asked, "Who'da thunk it?"

We kissed and groped for a little while before the cold really got to us, then drove the dune buggy down to where we'd left Tony and Chuck. They had gone and we didn't know where to, so we drove back to the yard. There were quite a few older people there, friends of Ken. We saw Timmy and Dave talking to some people but none of the rest of the gang we'd come with. Then we heard motorcycles in the not-far-off distance and followed the sound to the field down by the road.

We found Tony, Chuck, Jason and Alex sitting on the ground watching Adam and Eddie run sprint races and cheering them on.

Those two seemed pretty fearless, riding faster than I had ever dared. I noticed that Jason was covered in mud on one whole side of his body. I didn't have to ask the cause since I'd dumped the bike several times when I was first learning to ride. I guess the only surprise was that he seemed to be the only one who had lost it.

He and Alex were sitting close together and holding hands when they weren't clapping at the action in front of them. Tony and Chuck seemed oblivious to them. I said, "It's gonna be a cold night guys, anybody need to go home for more clothes?"

They looked up and they all nodded yes. That made me think it might be better if they just called home and one guy with a car could make a single trip. Adam and Eddie had slowed down and were headed towards us, so I asked them the same thing. We decided to go the phone call route and that Jason would ride with Brian because between them they knew where everybody lived. We pushed the bikes up to the yard, then took turns with the phone. Brian was going to bring extra sweatshirts and a jacket for Eddie so he wouldn't have to make the trip all the way to his house.

When those two took off I got Tim to help me carry the big pot of stew up to the fort. My mother had fed most of these guys at one time or another and, knowing their appetites, had made about fifty pounds of the stuff in a huge restaurant style pot. We were the two biggest and the weight didn't really bother us, but we kept having to set the pot down because the handles hurt our hands. The last few hundred feet were up a steep narrow trail, so we were both pretty tired when we reached the fort and put the pot down.

Timmy was actually sweating a little and wiped his brow on his sleeve. "Whew!" He grinned, "This stuff better be good, 'cause I sure don't wanna carry it back!"

My back hurt a little, so I sat down and laid back. Tim laid beside me. We were just looking at the sky, so I asked him, "How's Davy holding up? I really don't know how he manages all that work and still finds time to have fun." Dave was taking extra classes to try to make up for the freshman year he'd missed.

Tim was quiet for a second. "Dave's amazing me. He's been callin' himself dumb all this time, but I think he's a freakin' genius. He's not only doin' it, he's doin' good in everything, real good. He's acing all his tests, learnin' stuff like crazy, and he loves every minute of it. He's doin' two and three things at once and gettin' them all right. He has my head spinnin' half the time."

I had to chuckle. Dave had always been in awe of Timmy's intelligence, now he was amazing Tim with his own. "I know what you mean, he can read and hold a conversation at the same time!"

"Shit, last night when I was there he was reading a biology book and helping his mother cook while he had a phone stuck in his ear talking to Eddie. What's that word.... ambidextrous?"

I laughed out loud at the picture. "Multi-dextrous I think. He's a piece of work, that's for sure. Brian's real smart, but when he's concentratin' he might as well be in a different country for all he knows about what's goin' on around him. Um, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"It's kind of personal."

"That's okay, if it's too personal I just won't answer."

I was embarrassed, but Brian and I wanted to know something and the only way to find out was to ask. I looked away, "Um ... ah ... what I was wondering is ... oh shit! I don't even know what you and Davy do, but do you use ... do you use protection?"

I looked at Tim and hoped I wasn't as red as he was, though I'm sure that was the case. He didn't return my gaze, but he whispered, "Yeah, we have been lately. Doc said it's a good idea even if we're only with each other. It's kind of a pain, but better safe than sorry."

"What can go wrong when you just have one partner? I'm sorry for snoopin', it's just that Brian wants to start usin' rubbers."

"Doc said there's always a risk of infection, so we figured who needs that. Like I say, they're a pain to remember but nothin' feels different."

"It's not weird?"

Tim smiled, "No, it's not too weird, maybe just at first." He grinned, "I sure don't need any infections on my favorite body part!"

I chuckled, "Heh, I guess not. Um, where do you buy them?"

Tim laughed, "In the drugstore, man! They come in 3-packs, 6-packs and 12-packs. Doc told us what the different ones were for."

I sat back, "There's a difference?"

He was grinning. "Yeah, the 3-packs are for high school kids ... one for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday. The 6-packs are for college kids ... two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday. The 12-packs are for married people ... one for January, one for February ..."

I burst out laughing and Timmy got a good one going. Once the sound came out you could hear his laugh echoing off the stone cliffs that were everywhere. When we calmed down I shoved his shoulder and said, "You're too much, Tim. Doc's down at the house. Do you think we could ask him to talk to Adam and Eddie?"

Tim looked thoughtful. "Good idea. He should talk to Jason and Alex too." He smiled happily, "They probably don't want their dicks fallin' off either!"

I laughed again. "I bet they don't. Let's head back and see what's goin' on."

"Okay. You think those guys are doin' it already? Doc's gonna tell 'em they shouldn't."

We started down the hill. "I don't know what they're doin', but they should know the score."

When we got back to the house we mingled for a while until Brian and Jason came back. Tim and Dave went to ask Doc to talk to the other kids somewhere in private and he agreed, so we introduced them all and they disappeared into the living room. Tim and Dave went off to help Barry with something, so the rest of us played badminton in the wind for a while. Chuck and I had the upwind advantage and I used it to give Brian some much needed exercise. When we ended the game he was red-faced, sweaty and winded. You could tell he'd enjoyed it though. He was weird in that way. Once you got him off his duff to do something active he loved it. His problem was overcoming the initial inertia. He liked to play basketball on roller skates so he didn't have to run.

I think his real problem was that he ate too fast and therefore overate. When Brian was hungry there was no holding him back. It was hard to watch sometimes as a Big-Mac became a three bite snack, fries vanished as if into a vacuum cleaner, and he'd suck a milkshake through a straw so hard that he sometimes hurt the inner linings of his cheeks on his own teeth. This was the six month anniversary of the night we'd declared our love for each other, and I loved him more than ever. I really didn't care if he ate off the carpet, even if he ate the carpet itself. He was my guy forever and the mere thought of that made me feel good all over.

We had sex with each other and it was fantastic, but we were happy just to be with each other. Sometimes we talked a lot, other times we just sat quietly and held hands. If circumstances kept us apart, I'd get the same feelings just from talking to him on the phone or reading a postcard. When we met at the side of the net I forgot the others and pulled Brian into a hug, kissing his forehead. When I realized what I'd done I lifted my eyes to find Tony rolling his own and Chuck just staring at us. I smiled weakly and let go of Brian. "Sorry guys, forgot you were here."

Tony grinned at me while Chuck smiled nervously. I had to be more careful and warn the others to cool it as well. It surprised me then when Brian turned around and Chuck walked up to him saying, "It's okay, it really is. You guys just surprised me is all." He put on an odd smile and said, "Life's fulla surprises lately."

I didn't know what he meant and didn't ask. It seemed that we should be heading up to the fort before it got dark so I called over to Dave and Tim, then went inside to get the other guys. They were done with the Doc and just lined up taking turns in the bathroom. Eddie was the first one I saw so I asked, "How'd it go? Learn anything useful?"

Eddie grinned wickedly and grabbed his crotch. "Yeah, now I know this is a dangerous weapon." He laughed, then said louder, "That's what Adam's been sayin' all along!"

Adam turned around with a smile on his face. "What've I been saying?" He noticed where Eddie's hand was and grinned.

Eddie grinned back and whispered, "I was just tellin' Rafe about my secret weapon!"

Adam made a funny face and said, "Hell, that's a secret?" He put a hand on Eddie's shoulder, "Not any more, buddy. Not any more."

They were funny and I laughed a little. "Guys, we hafta get everything up to the fort, so get what you need and let's get movin'." I went outside and got a flashlight and a bunch of old newspapers for the fire from my car. Brian and I didn't wait for the others, we just started walking. Dave and Tim had gone ahead and when we got to the fort they were already working on getting a fire going.

I said, "Hi guys, guess I brought this paper for nothing."

Davy looked up, "Don't be too sure. This wood's kinda wet, so don't go losin' it."

By the time they finally achieved a flame the others had arrived. Tim and Dave opened beers for themselves and offered cans to anybody who wanted one. Chuck decided to try one. He didn't like it at first, but finished the can in about ten minutes and reached for another one.

By then the fire had died down to cooking temperature. Tim and I set the stew pot on some cinder blocks over the heat, then he said, "We should get some sleeping arrangements, who wants the tent?"

It didn't seem to matter to anybody, so Tim made assignments. He'd sleep in the tent with Davy, Eddie and Adam while the rest of us slept in the fort. It was fine with everybody because we'd all have plenty of room.

We still had some light left and the food was going to take a long time, so we started tossing a football around. There wasn't a lot of room for it, but we ended up playing touch on a very short field until it was too dark to continue. Then we sat around the fire telling stories and jokes, kidding and teasing each other and having a great loud good time. Every once in a while I got up to stir the stew with a big bald stick. Dave took time to keep the fire right, but it still took a while before the stew was hot enough to eat. When it finally was I ladled it into big plastic bowls and we chowed down. My mother hadn't overestimated at all. We ate every bit of it in two or three servings each, then moved the pot away and stoked the fire into a real blaze.

We were sitting around the fire, full and less noisy, when Eddie started to sing Amazing Grace in a style that was like the blues. We were all suddenly silenced and listened with appreciation for his singing voice. After about one verse, Chuck came in with a good harmony and the rest of us went from appreciative to mesmerized, then Jason started and they sang in three-part harmony. The spot we were in was like a natural echo chamber and it sounded so beautiful, felt so beautiful in the cold, somewhat smoky night air. To me it evoked something, but I didn't know what that something was, perhaps from a prior life, perhaps just the feeling that nothing could have made life more special for the bunch of us right then.

When the song ended peace descended on us, the only sounds coming from the crackling fire and an occasional hoot from a distant owl Tony finally spoke up, "Where'd you guys learn to sing like that? You're amazing!"

Eddie, Chuck and Jason were grinning at each other. Eddie said, "Try this," then broke into, "I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car."

Chuck chimed in, "He's the dude with the rusty nails, Walks on water, don't need no sails, riding on the dashboard of my car."

They joined together, " Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car. Though the sunshine on His back, makes Him peel and chip and crack, a little patching keeps Him up to par."

Between them, the two Irish boys knew lots of verses and they kept us entertained for at least fifteen minutes with that one song. Davy started clapping out the rhythm early on and we all joined in. The night was turning out better than any of us had hoped for. When Eddie and Chuck finished the song, Tim and Dave started in with one of their obnoxious ones. Neither of them sang well, but they had enthusiasm for it and kept us all laughing with the raunchy words.

The songs eventually petered out, but we stayed there talking quietly for a long time. We talked briefly about what Jason and Alex wanted to do as far as coming out at school. They were going to have to either modify their behavior or subject themselves to a lot of rumors, either that or just go for it and take their chances. They were hardly ready to go for it, so Dave and Tony told them what they felt the guys were being obvious about. It boiled down to special looks and touching and ignoring other people when they were together. Dave thought that was just plain impolite to begin with, so they promised to try to be more careful at school. They had some friends they thought could handle it and planned to tell them someday.

We didn't dwell on it for long. Their parents knew about the two of them and were being cool, and that's what really matters when you're fourteen.

We had lots of wood for the fire and I don't think any of us wanted the night to end. Adam started passing out Twinkies and cupcakes, and the sugar brought the volume back up for awhile, but eventually we all realized that we needed sleep. Brian and I were the first ones on our feet. We peed off the edge of the cliff and hurried into the fort, both to escape the cold and to sneak a goodnight kiss before Chuck and Tony came in. Brian's breath was pure Twinkie, probably eight or ten of them, and he tasted so good it made me wish we were alone, but we weren't so I just smiled.

We got our coats and shoes off and emptied our pockets, then started climbing in our sleeping bags just when Tony and Chuck came in.

We had thoughtfully placed the zippers of the sleeping bags facing each other, figuring we could leave them unzipped and at least hold hands all night, but the icy air soon convinced us to zip up. I thought we'd stay up and talk for awhile, but I think I fell asleep before they even turned the lantern off.

I may have been the first one to fall asleep, but I was also the first one awake. I came to and listened to everybody breathing, then noticed that I could see my own breath. I had to pee, so I stupidly went outside in my bare feet only to find frost on the ground. I ran on tiptoes to the cliff's edge and did my business. Shoes or not, it was a beautiful morning, a little mist in the valley wafting through the colorful trees.

The cold got to me quickly, so I went back into the fort. Everyone else was still fast asleep and I got back into my sleeping bag and started to zip it up, then looked at Brian sleeping only inches away. I changed my mind and slowly unzipped his bag, being careful to make no noise. Then I reached over inside his bag and began stroking him until he got hard. Brian started to squirm a little but remained asleep until I got his pants open and had him in my hand. I had been looking at his face and I could tell that he was becoming aware even before he opened his eyes and looked at me with a sleepy but surprised little smile. I looked over to make sure that Chuck and Tony were still out cold, then I gently ministered to my lover until he came into his own hand. At least he hadn't made any noise.

I was grinning at him while he came down from whatever heights I'd gotten him to, then he smiled and whispered, "You wise ass! Now what do I do?"

I tried to look innocent. "Is there a problem?"

He anxiously said, "No, there's a mess. Find me a rag or something."

I reached over to my shoes and grabbed a sock, slipping it through the opening of his sleeping bag. When he had cleaned himself up he tried to hand it back to me. I backed away and said, "Don't give it to me!"

He smiled, "It's your sock!"

"My gift to you."

"Gee, thanks." He looked up, "Hey Tony! Sleep okay?"

I looked over and Tony was just pulling himself up on one elbow, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. "Pretty good. Is it time to get up?"

I said, "It doesn't matter. It's freakin' cold, so stay in bed 'til you're ready to stay up. I'm gonna go start the fire, but there's frost out there right now."

Tony asked, "Need help?"

"Naw."

"That's good." He settled back into his bag and closed his eyes. I stretched to grab my pack, then put on clean socks and my shoes. I got my coat on, then leaned down to Brian. "Okay, give me the damn thing, and no tricks!"

He slipped it onto the floor and I picked it up with the other sock and carried them outside, dropping them into the still smoldering fire. I picked up a handful of twigs and put them on top, then fanned the embers with a piece of cardboard until I had some flames. I put some small logs on, then put the cooking frame up and put on a pot of water for coffee. I busied myself straightening up the area until the water boiled, then yelled, "Coffee's ready!"

In about two seconds Tim's head popped out of the tent. "What time is it?"

I looked at my watch. "Seven thirty."

"Oh good. I'll be right out."

I made myself a cup of instant coffee, and the others began to materialize around me as I enjoyed it. Dave was going to make breakfast for us all in the house and Tim had to be to work at ten, so they each grabbed arm loads of things and headed out. Dave asked us to give him an hour before we came down to eat. The rest of us had coffee or orange drink, then we set about getting things ready to carry down.

The sun was warming things up rapidly, so we shed our coats and lugged what we could carry down to the cars, using my mother's stew pot to carry the trash in. We were all a little tired from staying up so late, but nobody regretted doing it and we were all in good moods.

When we got to the yard Tim was talking with his father, who was staying with Ken. I saw Barry's van and a few cars I didn't recognize. We piled all our things up by the cars, then Brian mentioned sarcastically that he had to wash his hands and I decided I should wash up too. The bathroom was empty so we went in. Bri turned on the water and started washing his hands. "Do you know how gross it was holdin' my coffee in this hand?" He was grinning at me in the mirror.

I reached around him, pulling myself close, and washed my hands along with his. I knew from his smile that Brian could feel my hardon pressing against his butt. He suddenly smirked and dropped out of sight, between me and the vanity. The next thing I knew I was in his mouth, Brian using every trick he knew to bring me off quickly. I still had my hands under the water, but they had stopped washing each other. I briefly opened my eyes to the mirror and was confronted with such an idiotic expression that I clenched them shut, thinking that ceiling mirrors were probably a bad idea. That was my last thought for a while. I was on my way to somewhere else again, that place that only Brian could bring me to, a place that we usually strove to arrive at the same time. Solo voyages like the one I was on were no less pleasurable, and I landed with my typical lack of grace, nearly choking Brian in the process.

He recovered before I did and crawled between my legs, then hugged me from behind while planting kisses on my neck and shoulders. When I could finally say something, it was, "Wow." I noticed that my hands were still under the water, so I shut it off and turned around, pulling Brian into a long, gentle kiss. I couldn't imagine ever wanting anyone else, nor could I imagine our love doing anything but strengthening every day. I pulled back from the kiss and took his glasses off just to get a clearer look at his sparkling, intelligent eyes, eyes that would never, could never lie. I kissed the tip of his nose, "I love you Brian. You are the absolute best, fandangdest thing in my life." I smiled.

He kissed me quickly and said, "I love you too, more than anything. Whatever that word was, I feel the same way." He grinned, "You made that up, didn't you?"

We let go of each other to straighten our clothes out. "I didn't make it up, I heard it somewhere."

"Yeah, right."

"I did!"

I pulled the door open to leave. Brian was one step behind me, "Yeah, where? I never heard it."

"I don't know, maybe a movie or something."

The aromas emerging from the kitchen shut us both up. I realized that I was really hungry, Brian probably not so much now. I found myself wondering if he'd eat more slowly, therefore downing less food. A whole new epoch in appetite control seemed possible as we turned into the madhouse that Ken called his kitchen.

It was serve-yourself, so I got a heap of eggs, french toast, sausages and bacon, a glass of juice and a coffee. It had warmed up enough that most people were eating outside. I had to make two trips, but found two empty seats at the table Barry was at. That was nice because Barry was sort of my idol. He was a gay man in his mid-thirties who seemed to be making it just fine. I admired him mostly just for the real person he was; smart, funny and irreverent. He held up just fine in a mostly straight society, but lately he was usually seen with Jack, a guy his age. They met at a picnic on Labor Day and, although nothing was ever obvious, I thought they might have a thing for each other. I hoped they did. Jack was more serious than Barry, but a nice guy nonetheless. I don't know, maybe they were just friends, but I hoped it was more.

Davy settled it once and for all. He and Tim came over holding hands. Dave looked at Barry and Jack and asked in his usual guarded manner, "So! You guys boppin' each other yet? Inquiring minds wanna know!"

Jack turned red like a tomato. Barry glared at Davy, then burst out laughing. "Where have I heard that question before?" He shook his head quickly as if to clear it. "To answer, it's none of your fuckin' business. It ain't today and it won't be tomorrow, so don't ask again!"

Davy shrugged contritely and said, "Sorry, just askin'. So are you?"

That got Timmy laughing, and when he laughed everybody laughed. By the time we settled down everyone was red in the face.

Davy dug right back in. "You made me and Timmy kiss in front of a lot more people than this! All I wanna know is if I should open the champagne!"

Barry looked at Jack, they both smiled at each other, then Barry turned and said, "Get the bottle ya little twerp. And don't go shakin' it!"

Davy squealed, "Yes!" and ran towards the house. Barry took Jack's hand and smiled. We all smiled. When Davy came back with a bottle of champagne he gave it to Barry to open and started to yell to everybody at the other tables to pay attention. Barry got the cork to pop out quietly, then handed the bottle to Davy.

He took it and held it in the air. "Barry, I owe you a lot ... my life for starters. You showed me how to live, and you showed me how to love, you and Ken, and Don and Jimbo. You were the guy who was always alone, though, and I'm so happy to see you change that." He looked at Jack. "Jack, I really don't know you yet, but I will. Barry's my man, so you take care of him, hear?"

Jack nodded happily, then Davy picked up a fork. He took a swig from the champagne bottle, then clinked the fork against it. "You may kiss the bride ... uh, gentleman ... whatever."

They did. Barry pulled Jack's face to him and they kissed gently on the lips. The place erupted into cheers, my own among the loudest. Barry's other friends each took turns toasting them. The love and respect that poured out from them had almost everybody shedding tears of happiness. When it got to be my turn I thought everything had already been said, so I made it personal.

I held up the bottle and nodded at them in turn, "Jack .. Barry." I smiled at Jack, "I want to know you better Jack, but this is mostly for Barry. I hope you don't mind." He smiled and shook his head, so I turned to Barry. "Barry, I owe you. I know you don't want anything, but you'll see. If there was ever anybody I wanna be just like, it's you. When I was in a hole you didn't pull me out, you showed me how to make a ladder so I could climb up by myself." I started to choke up, but I continued. "I made my ladder, and I climbed it. I'm still climbin', man, and I only hope that someday I get to where you are. You give away happiness everyday, Barry, and I'm so glad you decided to keep some." I was crying outright by then, so I stumbled over to Barry and hugged him, whispering, "You're the best! I really and truly love you, Barry."

I sobbed, my tears soaking the shoulder of his shirt. Barry was comforting me, patting my back, then I felt a tug on my arm. It was a tearful Brian whispering, "Beautiful." I looked at Barry and he had tears running down his face too. When I looked around everybody seemed to be crying, not from sadness but from the love they all felt for this man. Brian handed me the bottle and I took the requisite swig and passed it to Barry. He took a sip and gave it to Jack, who finished the last few drops and put it down. Then they kissed for real, not passionately or anything, but they held it for a while and it was a beautiful thing to observe. That day, that place, will be forever fixed in my mind. Not just because of Barry and Jack, but ....

"Ohmigod! Where's Tony and Chuck? What'd they see?"

There was a tap on my shoulder. I spun to see Tony standing there, Chuck right behind him. They both had tear-streaked faces and beautiful smiles. Tony hugged me and kissed my cheek while Chucky did the same thing to Brian. I was stunned and pulled back.

"What's that all about."

Tony looked a little embarrassed, but smiled brightly. "I think I ..." He looked at Chuck, who nodded, "I mean we. We just learned somethin', we talked about it."

"What's that?"

Tony smiled, then Chuck did too. Their smiles showed all the understanding two fourteen year olds could show.

"Love is where you find it, who you find it with! We're both cool."

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