The Quantum

By Dabeagle

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Chapter Thirteen

I was almost too embarrassed to take my written exam. Almost, but not quite. Eleanor left and my grandfather continued to make muttered comments about how no school was going to say who any grandson of his could bring as a date. All I could think of was how badly Jake might freak and how best to plan my damage control. My first order of business would be to speak to my grandfather, and if I could reason with him then maybe, just maybe, disaster might yet be averted. On the other hand, this dance thing could ignite his self-righteous fury and propel Jake and I into a spotlight neither one of us wanted.

I was rapidly realizing my grandfather could be a pain in the ass. I wondered how this fact had escaped me. Eleanor certainly felt as though she had the market cornered on knowing the ins and outs of my grandfather. Come to think of it, they were civil to one another. Oh god, that was the very definition of an unholy alliance.

"Grandpa?" I asked him once we were in the car and on the way home.

"What?"

"I wondered if we could talk about this dance thing," I began." You know ... "

"It's an outrage. Who do these people think they are? You can god damn well date anyone you please! Why should it matter? What do they think you'll do at the dance? Most of the girls will get banged afterward. For Christ's sake, they rent rooms by the hour over in Pulaski. What do they think they are doing in there? Gossiping? No, the prom queen is getting the old ... "

"Grandpa!" I interjected, interrupting before he could finish the thought.

"What?!"

"I don't want to know what the prom queen is doing."

"Oh. Right. Well, the point is, what right have they?"

"Well, I'd just like you to consider that if you do this, Jake and I are going to be out all over this little burg. Jake might not like that so well, and neither would I."

"Kris, I'll leave it to you guys, but when high school is over, the world changes a lot. You'll find out there is more to life than these dumb redneck-wannabes. Sure, it might be rough, and I'm not saying you should run around telling the world--that's silly. No one runs around screaming they are heterosexual unless they're a slut or hiding something. Come to think of it, your grandmother used to trumpet her being straight an awful lot."

"Grandpa!" I laughed.

"You guys talk it over. But there is no reason you shouldn't be yourselves."

Yeah, but who was I? "Well, I was hoping you'd see it that way. But what do I do about Eleanor? This has all happened so fast. Jake sort of fell into my lap and I don't want to scare him off. In fact, I'm so worried about scaring him I'm forgetting to be scared for myself."

"Well, I only know how to piss her off, not how to reason with her. I expect if she has her mind set you might just as well be pissing up a rope. She seems to like you ok though, so you could go over and have a chat with her."

I sat and thought about that and barely realized the car had pulled over and we were on the side of a dirt road. One less traveled I think Frost would have called it. I looked at my grandfather questioningly.

"Ready for your first lesson?"

"Hell yeah!" I exclaimed, while bolting out my door and over to the driver's side. My grandfather occupied the passenger seat and held the keys in his hand while directing me to fasten my seatbelt, adjust the seat and adjust the mirrors so I could see.

"Okay, push on the clutch until it's on the floor and press in the brake pedal," he instructed. I pushed as far as I could and looked at him expectantly. He handed me the key and I excitedly slid it home, relishing the first time I would be behind the wheel-well, except for that whole stolen-car thing.

I turned the key and the old Toyota turned over quickly and started. My grandfather instructed me to place my hand on the stick shift and he placed his hand over mine, guiding my hand through the gears to familiarize me with them. He then instructed me to let the clutch out slowly and increase the gas as I did so. The car began bucking violently and a mysterious, unsettling clattering came from under the hood as the car slowly starved to death from lack of fuel. My grandfather thought this was funny.

"Try again," he said. I did and actually made the car lurch several feet forward before it began to buck wildly, while my grandfather laughed in the seat next to me. I tried desperately to bring the car to heel, while my grandfather made remarks about always wanting to have been a milkshake.

At last I got the hang of the whole gas-to-clutch thing and got rolling along, no thanks to my grandfather, who still chortled from time to time. I won't say I was really good or anything, but I could get the car to go with a minimum of bucking and heaving. We lurched into the driveway with my grandfather beaming, and I think that maybe it was a little pride that caused the smile. Either that or he was thinking something wiseass about milkshakes again.

**

Jake came over that night and we sat on the couch watching a movie. There was a strange tension in the air. I knew I wanted to talk this dance stuff over with him, but he was oblivious, filled with questions about my driving lesson and how my grandfather's car handled. I patiently tried to make him understand that the car handled me, but as I said, he was oblivious. Motorheads!

I wanted to touch him, but I was feeling kind of weird about that too, because we were on my grandfather's couch and stuff. I know, it makes no sense.

My grandfather came in from the garage and decided he needed to make a comment. Actually, it was a little more than commenting. His hand gripped my shoulder and pushed me towards the middle of the couch, and then he did the same to Jake so that we were sharing the center cushion.

"Now one of you drapes his arm around the other one, then you make out and tell people afterwards that all you did was sit up and watch TV. Obviously you guys take people way too literally when they say they just watched TV. Dumb kids," he muttered and walked off. Jake blushed at me and I giggled, leaning into him. His arm settled across my shoulders and I sighed into him.

"My grandfather is insane."

"Yeah, pretty much. But he made the rules clear." Jake's voice dropped in an attempt to imitate my grandfather. "Make out and don't leave any pecker tracks on the couch!" We giggled together, my internal tension easing.

I wanted to talk to Jake about this thing before my grandfather or Eleanor blindsided us with it, but all cognitive brain functions flew out of my head as his lips met mine. Now, let's be honest. Wouldn't Eleanor be the last thing on your mind if Jake had his lips pressed to yours? I feel the same way.

"Jesus, get a room," my grandfather growled as he walked by us and out to the kitchen.

"I don't have a TV in my room for us to pretend we aren't watching!" I called out to him.

"I am not buying a TV just for you to not watch it!" he roared.

"You won't have to worry about pecker tracks on the couch!" Jake called out and promptly broke down in a fit of giggles. My grandfather poked his head out of the kitchen and eyed us.

"We'll go to Sears tomorrow."

**

Bryan picked me up for school and chatted amiably on the short ride. Maybelle was getting louder and I told him so.

"What?"

"Maybelle is getting a lot louder!"

"What?"

"Your fucking car is noisy!"

"Yeah, we're going. Are you guys?"

"What? Going where?"

"What?"

I threw my hands in the air and grumbled to myself. Bryan merely grinned at me. We pulled into the parking lot, and Jess was standing at her car waiting, Jake with her. I smiled broadly at him as we pulled into a parking place. Maybelle backfired, then fell blessedly silent.

"Schantz! Your muffler fall off?" Jake called to us.

"What?" we replied in unison. Jake rolled his eyes.

"You need to get that fixed before you get a ticket, and if you say what to me ... ." Jess fixed Bryan with a no-nonsense look.

"Jake was supposed to help me, but he's been a little busy." I snickered while Jake reddened.

"I could help," Jess said brightly. I laughed.

"Well, sure babe, if you want to." Bryan looked at me bemusedly while I continued to snicker and Jess fixed me with a look. "Something funny, elf?"

"According to Jess, tools are cute and don't have individual names beyond 'thingy' and 'doo-hickey.'" I laughed.

"Kris, I liked you better when you weren't getting any," she said with a wicked gleam.

"Oh he's not, not until we get married," Jake said in a far too innocent voice.

Bryan shook his head, "I'm still getting used to that, buddy. Every once in a while you'll say or do something that totally takes me by surprise, and then I remember you're gay."

"Imagine how I felt when I discovered my elf had the hots for my boyfriend?" Jess retorted. I froze.

"What?"

"Well, I can see we've taken up too much of your time; come on Kris, we'll be late." Jake made to grab my arm.

"Freeze, Charbonneau," Bryan growled.

Oh shit.

"Someone want to tell me what the hell that meant?" Bryan had fixed a scowl at us.

"Why don't you lighten up, Bryan?" Jess stood between Bryan and me. I was a little peeved at having a girl stand up for me. I reached out and moved her slightly so that I was facing Bryan. She still blocked him from reaching me easily, so I guess my macho side wasn't all that large. His face was warring with the confusion at the situation and her no-nonsense tone.

"Bryan, maybe now isn't the time for this talk, ok?" I said in a voice that trembled with fear, my old fear of getting a beat down mixed with the original fears I had when I met Bryan.

I've been told that a person has moments when they do the exact wrong thing, and get caught by the worst person possible in the act. I guess this was one of those moments for Bryan.

"No, I want to know how come everyone else knows you were queer for me, but no one ever told me." The statement flew out of his mouth and rang off the side of the school. Muffled conversations died down until all I could hear was my blood pounding through my eardrums. Bryan seemed to realize what he'd said far too late. I glanced at Jake, a crushed look on his face as he saw his best friend betraying him in front of his eyes.

I glanced at Jess whose eyes had narrowed to slits and finally back to Bryan whose face clearly showed the realization of his words hitting his brain.

I was out now, I realized with sudden clarity. Not done in by Eleanor or my grandfather, but by my friend. Jess was berating him. My ears reported that much but my brain didn't really process the words anymore. If this were a movie, time would slow and words would be blurry. The camera would pan to the students who overheard the outburst-- maybe some shock, maybe some giggles or glares of disgust. Surely there would be a look similar to those of people who drive slowly past car accidents gawking at the twisted metal and shattered glass with morbid curiosity.

Macabre at the least, terrifying at the worst. I didn't want to be a curiosity. I didn't want notoriety. I had come here to escape my demons, not to acquire new ones.

I turned slowly, deliberately forcing my muscles into action, and began to walk to the school more as a place to go rather than a place of safety. There was no place to go other than the school and its wide-eyed and laughing students, who were rubbernecking as events unfolded. I felt my arm grabbed from behind and heard Bryan's voice asking me to wait.

I lost it.

"Get off me, you asshole! Get the fuck away from me!" I flailed my arms at him, slapping away his hands and landing a closed fist on his face. "Don't touch me! I never should have trusted you!"

"Kris, stop it!" Strong arms, a warm embrace and a scent that was uniquely Jake filled my nostrils and brought me back from the edge. I turned away from Bryan and buried myself in Jake's chest, onlookers and the curious be damned. I pushed my face into Jake and tried to block out the world. Jake's chin sat on top of my head, and he murmured words of comfort. How could he be so calm? Hadn't he heard Bryan's words echoing off the school? Didn't he realize everything was about to be all over the school in a matter of hours?

"Come on Kris. Let's get out of here," Jake told me. Jess made some final statement to Bryan and joined us walking to the back of the school. Eyes were on us and I trembled. Why was Jake not crumbling to pieces? I thought I was the strong one here?

"Jake, I don't want to go in there," I said with a trembling lower lip. I would not cry.

"Ok, we'll go then. Jess, can you give us a lift?" Jake asked her. She sighed at us and nodded as we diverted to her car. We slipped out of the parking lot, a defeated Bryan standing near his car as if trying to comprehend what had happened.

I almost felt sorry for him. Almost, but not quite.

**

"What are you doing back here? No TV shopping till after school." My grandfather ducked his head behind the door of the Nissan he was working on.

Jake put me in the chair at the desk while he walked over to talk to my grandfather. I looked at the scattered invoices across its scarred surface. Ledgers lined the shelves on the wall, auto manuals in the large bookcases to the right of the desk.

"Jake, go call your folks so they know what's going on. I'll talk to 'em if you want," my grandfather intoned. The door to the house opened and closed and my grandfather's figure eased into a resting position next to me, against his desk.

"Tough break, kid."

"Yeah."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm really not sure, Grandpa. It kind of shocked me. I guess I'm still-a little stunned."

"Yeah, I can understand that. You can't dodge it forever though. Today is all right, but you'll have to go back tomorrow. Life doesn't stop when bad shit happens." He laid a hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. Jake returned and told us his folks would allow him to stay out of school for today, but that they wanted him home for dinner.

"They want you there too, Kris." Jake looked at me. I just nodded absently, dismissing the whole thing as unimportant at the moment. What do I do now?

"Well, since you're here, go get some work clothes on. Go on. It'll get your mind off things for a bit." My grandfather shooed us out of the garage. I followed Jake to my room mindlessly and didn't snap out of it until he touched my cheek with his fingers. My eyes were drawn with sudden clarity to his soft features and his blue-gray eyes.

"It'll work out, you'll see. If I know Bryan, he feels like absolute shit right now."

"Good, I feel that way, too," I replied.

"You're really cute, you know that?" Jake brushed his fingertips across my cheek again and goose bumps ran up my back.

"How can you be so calm?" I whispered. "You were so nervous when I came out to you; you verbally dodged me when I said I liked you. Where is this strength coming from?"

"You know, I survived sixteen years before you got here. Maybe I'm a little weak when it comes to someone I'm attracted to, but that doesn't mean I am weak about everything else."

"I was beginning to think I was going to have to be the strong one of us," I murmured as I leaned into his arms. He stroked the back of my neck gently, sending cold chills through me and sending the real world into retreat.

"I think it needs to be a little more even than that. I have to be strong when you need it, just like I'll depend on you to be strong when I need you to be. School will be different when we go back tomorrow. We'll need each other's strength, and I know I'll need your touch."

I wrapped my arms around him and inhaled deeply while he continued to stroke the bare skin on my neck. I felt my stress, my anger and my worries slowly dissipating like fog under the sun's warmth. His hand moved from my neck to the back of my head, his fingers roaming through my hair and I sighed, my body shivering under his touch. He kissed the top of my head.

"We better get going. Got something for me to wear?"

"How about wearing your birthday suit?" I mumbled into his chest.

"Not for working on cars, no," he chuckled. I looked up at him, smiled and kissed him softly.

"Let's get out there before we get a bunch of comments about pecker tracks," I smirked.

"Why does everyone think we are in each other's pants? Geez, straight people don't just jump into bed, do they?"

"I guess some do." I shrugged and went to my closet to retrieve clothes that would fit Jake. I handed him the clothes while he pulled his shirt off. I looked at him and smiled.

"What?" He smiled shyly.

"I just wanna watch," I smirked.

"Oh yeah?" he said while reaching for the top button of his pants.

Oh my!

**

Fifteen minutes later we walked into the garage, both out of breath from an intense make out session. We were greeted by the sound of my grandfather cursing at a small Horizon. He hadn't wanted to work on this car, he'd told me, but it was a favor. He said the car was similar to a Volkswagen in some respects, so he felt reasonably okay working on it. Apparently they weren't enough alike for his taste.

"Stupid assholes!" He muttered, metal clanking as he dropped a tool to the floor. He swore again before grunting loudly, accompanied by the squealing protest of rusted metal parts being forced to move.

"Jake, get me the penetrant! Kris, I need the gun."

Jake and I headed for different areas to get my grandfather the items he required. The penetrant was for loosening the parts chemically; the gun was to add some physical power to that task.

"Spray right there - see the end of the extension?" my grandfather said as Jake sprayed dutifully from the top side of the engine while I handed the gun under the car. The gun made a piercing noise, quickly removing the offending piece of hardware and my grandfather slid out from under the car.

"Piece of shit," he muttered. I smirked at him. He was too funny. "Ok, you two pissed away enough of the day. I've got a Honda out back that I need the axles, door handles and tranny from. If you weren't so busy with each other earlier, it would be done. Let's go get the bitch inside."

We trudged outside and into the crisp air, too cold to snow Grandpa had said. With so little time to go before Christmas, I figured we'd see more snow by now. Grandpa cranked the wheel on the car and Jake and I pushed it into the garage. Once settled into place, we got jack stands under it and Grandpa got boxes for us to put parts into.

"Idiot overheated the engine, warped the head on it. It's not worth putting a new motor into, so get all the good parts off it and we'll scrap the rest." Grandpa closed the garage door and turned the heat up a bit to knock the chill from the air. Jake and I set to tearing the good bits off the car, not speaking very much as we worked. Grandpa toiled on the Horizon, which refused to come back to life.

"I hate this car. It should be pushed into the parking lot and burned," my grandfather muttered. Jake and I paused to look at him, and he eyed the car evilly. "I'd like to find the guy who designed this thing and drag him by his balls through the snow. Asshole!"

Jake and I broke out into giggles while my grandfather arched an eyebrow at us and smirked before heading inside to make some lunch.

"He always makes me laugh," Jake snickered.

"Yeah, he is unique."

"Looks like we're almost done. Maybe we can do some more to your car before we head to my house for dinner?" Jake asked.

"Why do your parents want me there for dinner?" I asked.

"Well, you're family now. Plus we had a tough day. Mom feels the need to nurture, you know?"

"I'd be happier just cuddling with you," I pouted.

"I think we'll have time for that too," he smiled at me. We got cleaned up and had lunch with my grandfather--grilled cheese sandwiches-- and then we settled on the couch for a bit while he went back to the garage. I was feeling pretty tired--actually worn out emotionally--and drifted off to sleep leaning against Jake.

When I woke, it was to my grandfather coming in the kitchen door hooting like he had won the lottery.

"What's going on?" I asked sleepily.

"I did it! I won!" he cackled.

"What are you talking about?" Jake asked him.

"The Horizon!" he did a little victory dance in the living room, messing up first Jake's hair then mine.

"It works?" I asked as I tried to smooth my hair back into place.

"Runs like a raped ape!" he chuckled gleefully.

"A what?" Jake asked.

"No, don't say that again!" I laughed as Jake collapsed against me in a fit of giggles.

"Hey, you two need to head to Jake's. It's almost five thirty." Jake hopped up and a quick glance at the clock confirmed my grandfather's statement.

"Can you drop us off, grandpa?" I asked.

"Better yet, you can drive us!" He smiled and headed for the garage. Jake and I got changed back into our regular clothes without the previous attempts at eroticism. Well, with not quite as many. When we stepped into the driveway, my grandfather was in the passenger seat with a neck brace on.

One of these days I am going to get even with him. I swear it.

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