Begin Anew
By Dabeagle
Chapter 2
The Greatest Discovery
“Helm twenty degrees right rudder, steady course two seven two.”
“Twenty degrees right rudder, steady course two seven two, helm aye. Sir, my rudder is right twenty.”
“Very well.”
“Conn, sonar. Gain new sonar contact bearing one six seven, designate sierra one two, tracker alfa assigned in ATF. Initial classification, surface contact.”
“Sonar, Conn aye”
“So, are you going to tell me?” asked Kyle.
“Shhh.” I said, “This is cool, just watch.”
“Conn, sonar. Redesignate sierra one two submerged threat. Target now bears one seven seven.”
“Sonar, Conn aye.”
“Conn, sonar, torpedo in the water bearing one seven six.”
“Dive make your depth one six zero feet, helm thirty degrees left rudder, all ahead two thirds”
“Fire control, ready tubes two and four, state when you have a solution.”
“Aye sir.”
“Conn, sonar incoming torpedo now bears one six six, closing.”
“Launch countermeasures, helm all ahead flank.”
Conn, sonar. Incoming torpedo has detonated.”
“This is driving me nuts, why won’t you tell me?” he interjected.
“Shh” I replied.
“Solution acquired captain.”
“Tube two, fire. Tube four, fire. Dive, make all hands aware of ultra quiet status, make your depth six five zero feet.”
“Conn, sonar. Hold own ships units in the water running hot, straight and normal.”
“Sonar, Conn aye.”
“What the hell is it with you and submarines, anyway?”
“Shhh.”
As we watched the movie a klaxon sounded and flooding in the engine room rang out, men scurried from their posts to perform damage control. I sighed.
“Cause they are all alone, they have to do it all or they die. I feel like that sometimes, like no one really understands me.”
“That’s cause you’re so fuckin weird,” Kyle muttered.
“Fuck you,” I said.
“Ok, as long as you tell me who wrote the letter!” he said quickly.
“I … can’t. I promised I wouldn’t.” That wasn’t entirely a lie, although I had only promised myself.
“Man, listen if I guess and get it right will you tell me?” he asked. He was so cute when he begged. Also he was turning into a right pain in the ass. All week he had been bugging me, endlessly pushing and prodding, pleading, cajoling, threatening - you name it.
“No, I won’t,” I said.
“Oh, come on! This isn’t fair, I wouldn’t hold out on you. You prick.” He sulked.
Little did he know! I sighed. Writing that letter hadn’t been the brightest idea I had ever had, and I was paying for it now. Kyle stood up and stretched.
“Well, I have to go get ready for tonight, see you tomorrow?” he asked.
A bright streak of jealousy flared up in my gut. “What do you see in her anyway?” I muttered.
“Well, she has a nice ass, firm tits, and she kisses with tongue from the first date. Plus she wants me bad.” He grinned. “Jealous?”
“Naa, but when your dick rots off from her, I’ll be there.” I grinned back, but I had to force it. Oh boy, did I have to force it.
He just shook his head and wandered out.
He started dating Sheila Connelly on the second day of school, and actually she was an okay person. Much better than Stacey, although that wasn’t saying much. As a matter of fact, when she found out Kyle had a girlfriend she just about had a conniption fit. Ever seen one of those? It was really kind of funny, in a sad way. I mean she has this big vein in the middle of her forehead and it starts to pulse like some strange tumor on her head, her cheeks got flushed and, well you get the picture. I could relate a bit, though. I wasn’t happy about it, but what could I do? Tell him he was meant for me? I just tried to stay out of the way and not turn into some pitiable third wheel. They kept inviting me to go out though, and honestly she was really sweet. I let Kyle win when he got macho in front of her, just wrestling’ around and such. Besides, a feel is a feel right?
I sighed deeply again as the American submarine on the TV limped away to fight another day. The phone rang stirring me out of my reverie.
“Hello?”
“Jen Coleman.”
“Huh?”
“She wrote it, right? It was Jen Coleman.”
Ahhh, jeez. He never stopped.
“No, It wasn’t her,” I said, grinning in spite of myself.
“Ok, well it at least eliminates one from the crowd. Am I even close?” he asked.
“Honestly, no. No where near it,” I replied.
~Kyle~
Kyle hung up the phone, curiosity ruling his mind. Not even close? And how come Justin knew and he didn’t? Well, duh, someone saw him hanging with his buddy and was conspiring with him, obviously. He just hoped it wouldn’t be an ugly chick. Well, maybe not ugly - that was a bit shallow. Just someone whose feelings he wouldn’t have to hurt letting them down.
The doorbell rang and he went to get the door. Right on time, she is. She could be the one, Kyle thought.
“Hey, look at you! Wow,” Kyle said, awestruck by Sheila.
“You like it?” she asked, giving a playful twirl so Kyle could see the whole outfit. My, my but it did cling.
“Like it? Would you consider letting me have it? Yeah, just step out of that thing…” He grinned devilishly.
“Oh, yeah sure,” she replied flippantly, “what do you say we just do it out on the front porch, lover?”
“Hey, if you’re willing, so am I!” He grinned and kissed her as he brought her into the house.
“Are you going to be ready soon?” she asked.
“I’m ready now, wanna go upstairs and make some new social diseases with me?” he quipped.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I make you think I thought you were sexy or something? I didn’t mean to,” she replied, sarcasm so heavy it seemed to have a physical presence.
“Oh, hard to get tonight huh?” He giggled. I never giggle, he thought, and then giggled some more.
“Something funny, ‘little’ man?” she asked, eyebrow raised.
“Naw,” he said, stifling the last of the giggles. “I’ll just get cleaned up.”
“Hey do you have the homework from English written down? I can’t even read mine, I was so bored I was falling asleep,” she said.
“I know, I saw you. Did you wipe that drool off the desk, by the way?” he asked innocently.
“I did not drool. Stop looking at me like that, I didn’t drool on the desk,” she said defensively.
“He he, well it’s in the bag on my desk. I was falling asleep too, so I got it from someone who was more awake than I was, c’mon.”
They headed up the stairs towards his room. The house was tastefully decorated, but nothing was better in her eyes to the display she was getting right now, following Kyle up the stairs. As they entered his room he pointed to his desk and gathered a few clothes.
“Sure you don’t want to join me?” he asked playfully.
“I’ll just wait here, stud,” she replied. “Hey did you ever find out who wrote you that note?”
“Naw, and Just isn’t telling either. The prick,” he muttered on his way out the door.
Maybe she should talk to Justin, she thought. She shifted the papers on his desk and found the note. She felt a pang of sadness for the author, to feel too inadequate to even tell someone that they cared. Kyle wasn’t the type to hurt them if he didn’t feel the same way either, but still….
At last she located the homework assignment. She set it down next to the note and grabbed a blank piece of paper from Kyle’s notebook and copied the assignment. Who gave homework on weekends anyway? she thought. She folded the paper and inserted it in her purse for safekeeping. She picked up the assignment to put it back where Kyle would find it when something in her mind made her stop. Something about his assignment note was familiar, like a tickle at the back of her mind a thought that she couldn’t quite pull into focus. Then it hit her. The note and the homework assignment were very similar handwriting styles. The letters all slanted to one side, like a lefty would write. Oh my god, she thought. Whoever wrote down the assignment for Kyle was his secret admirer. Kyle unknowingly interacted with the person that held these secret desires. She felt a pang of regret for the person, but she also was excited to see who the person was as well. Maybe she could play cupid?
Kyle entered the room, smelling fresh and clean, cologne in place and dressed to kill. She thrilled that he was hers.
“Kyle,” she said, “You look good enough to eat!”
“Damn, why’d I put on clothes then?” He grinned.
She crossed the room and placed a loving kiss on his lips. These lips were hers now, those that she had wanted since third grade! Oh, and that reminded her.
“Baby, who gave you the homework assignment for English?” she asked coyly.
“Um, Justin did. Why?” he asked.
“Justin? Are you sure? Did he get it from someone else and pass it to you?” she questioned.
“Nope, he gave it to me since I couldn’t seem to concentrate. I was looking at the rainbow effect that you were creating with that strand of drool running from your lip to the desk and… Hey! What’s wrong? I was just joking, jeez!”
She had turned away from him thunderstruck.
“ I’m sorry, I was just kidding. Sheila? Hon?”
Her mind raced. How could she tell him? It seemed so obvious now, she felt so dumb. Justin was the person who wanted Kyle. He was always around, not that Kyle didn’t invite him, but he was near him all the time. She had seen them wrestle and thought it strange in retrospect that Justin hadn’t won the matches, since he obviously could push Kyle around whenever he felt like it. Now she saw the battle through new eyes, Justin had been trying to prolong the contact. It wasn’t her right to keep this from Kyle, she decided.
She turned back to face him, and took in his sad features.
“Honey, I’m not mad at you. I just had a bit of a shock, that’s all,” she said.
“You mean you didn’t know you drooled in your sleep?” Kyle grinned, perking up immediately.
“No, sweetie. I want you to look at something,” she said.
Kyle restrained the comments that came to mind with her statement only because he sensed her being serious.
She solemnly handed him the paper containing the note. “Do you remember Darcy Hearst?” she asked.
“Um, I think so. From about fourth or fifth grade?” Kyle asked taking the note.
“Yes, that’s her. Well I remember her ‘cause she had a real hard time learning to write neatly for penmanship cause she was left handed. I tried to help, but what could I do? It was messy, and I was right handed.”
“Um, ok. What does that have to do with the price of tea in china?” Kyle asked.
“Take a look at this,” she said handing him the homework assignment. “Notice the backhand sweep of the lefthander?”
“Oh, so whoever wrote the letter is a lefty? That ought to help me find her!” Kyle said triumphantly. “Good Catch, babe. I missed that.”
“That isn’t all your missing, love. Look at them closer, I mean really compare the letters.”
“Ok, well the E’s are really close, and…” He looked up from the papers, “You don’t think, I mean come on this is a joke, right? Aha, you two had your fun. Ok, good one, you got me.”
Her face didn’t change and it began to slowly settle in that Justin had written both papers.
“Oh, man. This is so weird. I never had this happen before. What do I do?” Kyle seemed to be asking himself, shaking his head in wonder.
“I think you should talk to him, honey. He is your best friend; he just wanted you to know his feelings. Put yourself in his shoes for a minute, he must have been terrified carrying this note to school, afraid of what would happen if someone saw him slip it through he gills in you locker. Imagine how he has felt with you determined to find that person out. He must be a nervous wreck, baby. You should talk to him.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Tomorrow though, ok? I want to go out with you right now. I just don’t think I could talk to him right now, it’s too much of a….shock,” he said quietly.
“Ok, baby. Tomorrow then,” she agreed.
Justin
I was lounging on the couch after doing the dishes from dinner; Dad was in his office working on some account or another. I idly flipped from channel to channel finding nothing. About ten I finally shut off the TV and headed to bed. I wondered idly if the two lovebirds had had a good time tonight, and felt that small twinge of jealousy again. Oh well.
I climbed into bed in a T-shirt and boxers, and was promptly claimed by sleep.
“Justin, wake up.”
“Do I have to?” I mumbled.
“Yes, you do. You have a phone call and chores to do today.”
“Oh,” I said
“Justin, I’m not kidding.”
“Ok, dad, I’m up, I’m up,” I said rolling out of bed. I am soo lazy, I thought as I trudged to the phone in the hall.
“Hello?”
“G’morning, sunshine!” Kyle positively perked through the phone.
“What’s good about it?” I asked.
“Cause I got movie passes. Wanna go see the new sub movie?” he asked.
“U-579?” I asked.
“Yeah, unless you know of another sub movie,” he replied sarcasm heavy on the line.
“Not that I’m protesting here, but you don’t like sub movies, so why do you want to see one now?” I asked.
“Cause I’ve seen the rest at the theatre, cause you like them, I’m bored, take your pick.” He laughed through the phone.
“Um, ok. I got chores first though. I’ll come over when I’m done. K?”
“K, see you then.”
After the Herculean effort of completing the chores my dad had set up for me, I showered and headed over to Kyle’s. This was odd, he had told me before that he didn’t want to see this movie, so what had changed his mind? I crossed the lawn and knocked on the door.
“Oh, hi Justin. Where have you been hiding, I haven’t seen you for a few days, honey.” Mrs. Pritchard asked as she answered the door.
“Hi, Mrs. Pritchard. I’ve just been home, hanging out. Is Kyle home?” I asked.
“Yes, lazy boy is upstairs. Before you go up could you try and get this vacuum open? I just brought it home and I can’t find a latch to get it open and put a bag in it,” she said.
“Ok, sure. Let’s see here.”
I fiddled with the vacuum for a minute and my fingers accidentally brushed on the catch and the front popped open.
“Oh, good. Here is the bag, honey, how does it go in there?” she asked.
What was I? Vacuum repairs man all of a sudden?
I placed the bag in the body of the vacuum and snapped it shut.
“Oh thanks honey. My back is so sore today, bending is just too much, and Trey is out as usual avoiding helping me with the housework,” She said. Trey was her husband and had the enviable ability to sense impending housework and tended to vacate the area rather efficiently. A skill I strongly felt I needed to acquire. She started cleaning the living room carpet mumbling vague threats about what she would do to Mr. Pritchard when he got home. He would get his, she muttered.
I headed up the stairs still trying to figure out why I was getting this blessing when my heart just a bout stopped. Kyle’s door was the last in the hall, on the right. It was slightly ajar, as always. But the interesting thing was that the crack between the jamb and the door proper gave a decent view of the bed. And of what was occurring on the bed.
Kyle lay on the bed, nude. Sweat on his brow, and a light sheen on his chest. His leg muscles were flexed and his eyes closed to the rhythmic motions of his hand moving rapidly up and down his length. I was mesmerized and stood stock still, not even breathing. My mind snapped mental photos of the erotic scene before me. I drank in the details like a drunk trying to get the last drop from his bottle of Thunderbird, seeing the muscles tense and relax, the nipples standing erect, the…oh man. My own pressure increased down below and I made an adjustment for comfort sake.
Kyle grunted and arched his back off the bed and displayed his cheeks, clenched and glistening, to the crack in the door. And then he came, spurt after spurt on his beautiful, tight abs and chest. He lay back, eyes close and began to breathe deeply. My own breath was suddenly noticeable to me, and I moved away from the door and back to the stairs.
I headed down and passed his mom on the way to the bathroom for a…well, necessary release.
~Kyle~
She was such a tease! Kyle felt as though he would never get anything but a severe case of blue balls. He had been so ready for this! As soon as he heard the vacuum start he knew he was safe since his dad had raced out the door this morning on ‘official business’ - the standard excuse for avoiding housework. At least he has the pleasure of doing this in his bed; it just sucked to have to hide in the bathroom to get the job done. He sighed and stretched. Time for a shower, Just should be done soon and he had promised Sheila he would talk to him today. He gathered his clothes, went to his bathroom and stepped into the shower.
Yep, today should be interesting.
~Justin
I stepped out of the downstairs bathroom and past Mrs. Pritchard again. She looked at me questioningly, and I suddenly felt like I had ‘Peeping Tom’ tattooed on my head.
“He was in the bathroom,” I said, smiling weakly.
She nodded and went back to dusting, the vacuum forgotten in the middle of the floor.
I walked up the stairs again and heard the shower running in the bathroom, so I headed down into Kyle’s room and sat on the bed. I leaned over and smelled the bed where he had just been. I inhaled and let his scent fill my lungs. Then I sat up and steadied my breathing again.
Kyle stepped into the room in his boxer briefs and nothing else. He seemed startled to see me and moved to his bureau quickly.
“Hey, man. Figured you’d be here soon. Want to stay over tonight?” he asked, and nervously I would have said.
“Sounds cool, just got to clear it with my dad. Why though? Don’t you have a date tonight?” I asked, a bit of bitterness in my voice.
“Nah, she dumped me,” he said.
“Huh? She what!?” I said.
“Just kidding, man, don’t get excited.” He grinned.
“Who’s excited, I was just shocked to hear that. That’s all. Really,” I said haltingly.
“I just told her I wanted to spend some time with my buddy, that’s all.” He smiled.
Oh, that killer smile, and he wasn’t going out with her tonight cause of me? He wanted to spend time with me? Ok, let’s not read too much into this, stay calm.
“You Ok?” he asked, “You’re breathing kind of hard.”
“Yeah, fine. I ran over, that’s all,” I replied.
“Ok, just wondered for a sec there. Lemme get some cash from mom for snacks and stuff. Be right back.”
I waited in his room feeling as though I was going on a date rather than just to the movies with a friend. This was going to be interesting, I thought to myself. Maybe I should tell him tonight?
~Kyle~
“Mom? Just and I am going to the movies with those passes I got. Can I borrow a few bucks for popcorn and stuff?” Kyle asked.
“I really wish you would just use your allowance instead of borrowing from me. You’ll never learn budgeting if you don’t,” she said while rummaging through her purse.
“I know mom, but I already promised him and I get my allowance tomorrow. Besides, I always pay you back, don’t I?”
“Yes you do honey. Are you going to make a habit of inviting people over and then getting on the toilet?” she asked absently.
“What do you mean?” Kyle asked quizzically.
“Well you invite Justin over and he helped me with the vacuum, thank God because you know your father disappeared this morning like he has this sixth sense that I’ll need his help around here today, like it would kill him you know? It wouldn’t exactly do you harm either to figure out how that washer dryer deal works you know, honestly. Anyway, Justin helps me with the vacuum and heads up, only to come back down because you were in the bathroom. That wasn’t the best timing, do you think? I think it’s rude, personally and I wouldn’t take that from anyone. Why if Ruth Anderson tried that I’d…”
His mother’s incessant rambling about manners was lost on Kyle who was now deep in thought about timing himself.
~Justin~
We walked in silence to the theatre, and Kyle seemed to be lost in his thoughts. He also seemed to be a bit embarrassed or something, but from what? I hope he didn’t see me! I looked over at Kyle and he was also in mid-blush. He glanced at me and then quickly to his feet again. What was going on here? He must know! That could be the only answer, and now he knew what I was. Suddenly I felt just like a man trapped on a sinking submarine, pressure increasing until it would implode and scatter tiny bits over the ocean floor. I felt a single tear trace it’s way down my cheek.
“Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” Kyle asked, concern etched in his face.
“Nothing man, just a lash in my eye,” I said viciously rubbing my eye and trying to hold the flood back.
“Just, we should talk about some stuff. You want to skip the movie and go to get some ice cream instead?”
“Um, sure. Ok,” I muttered. It was all going to end soon, come to a screeching halt, as my grandfather used to say.
We walked in to dairy queen and both of us ordered banana splits. We headed to the far corner or the shop with our Epicurean delights, although my stomach wasn’t really rumbling right about now.
I looked up and Kyle was watching me intently.
“What?” I asked miserably.
“I was just thinking,” he said.
“What about?” I asked timidly.
“About all the things we have in common. I mean we both have good taste in ice cream, as you can see. We both like the same sports, just different teams, but there isn’t any accounting for taste, right?”
I snorted a reply.
“We both possess a sartorial eloquence that makes women jealous. And if I were gay, I’d want me too.” He finished with flair.
I stared at him, mouth open. Did he just say that? I was thinking he might know, but now…this was a new ballgame.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Ok, ok, what I really meant was that if I were gay…I’d like you,” he said, finishing quietly.
I felt the tears coming again.
“How did you know?” I whispered
He got up and slid in next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders.
“Because all my friends want me,” he said with a smile. “Actually, Sheila figured it out. She saw the note, which you knew, and then she saw the homework assignment you gave me from English Friday, and, well, there it was.”
He shrugged his shoulders as he watched me. I could feel him staring. Suddenly I wanted to be anywhere but here, anywhere away from Kyle before the laughing started and the humiliation began to overrun me as it had in the past.
“Hey, It’s cool man. I had time to think and It’s ok with me. You’re my buddy, my best friend. My father says that you will be able to count your true friends on one hand the day you die, and I guess I’m just lucky cause I already found one.”
I raised my teary eyes to his and searched them. Relief flooded through me, for I found no malice there, no treason. Just simple truth, and maybe some love too.
“I love you man. See? It really isn’t that hard to say. Go ahead, you try it.” He grinned.
I looked at him. He was having fun now. I’ll bet he even liked the fact that he attracted someone from the same sex! But I did believe him.
“I love you, Kyle,” I whispered.
He gave me a squeeze and moved back to the other side of the table.
“And as it should be, buddy, as it should be. I’m not that way, but I’m ok with the fact that you are. Just do me a favor?”
I looked at him waiting for the inevitable ‘stay away from me’, or ‘don’t touch/call/talk to me’. But I was completely unprepared for what he said.
“Don’t watch me beat off. That was embarrassing. Besides, if I knew you were watching, I could have made it better for you and called out your name, you know?”
I goggled at him and he snickered. He took a bite of his sundae and then dribbled the ice cream from his mouth, making a crude parody. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“So now, you don’t have to identify with the submariners, man, cause you’ll never be alone. You got me. And Sheila thinks you are adorable, in fact she wants to play fuckin’ cupid, so you better stop watchin’ my ass and take care of yours!” He giggled.
~Kyle~
Well, that wasn’t too bad, Kyle thought as he lay in bed. The glowing numbers on the clock read 11:13 and he was getting ready to drift off. Everything is cool, I got my best friend back from that zone where he thought he was alone, I got the girl I wanted, could it get any better? And really he had told the truth, if he was gay or BI or into livestock or whatever he was convinced he would like Justin that way. He liked Sheila after all because of who she was, not that her body wasn’t another good reason! And Justin was a loyal, true blue friend, and one like he had never had before. Besides, it was so cute the look on his face when I told him. He smiled to himself.
I wonder if it would be outside the bounds of good taste to tease him? Like wear stuff that would turn him on? Maybe brush hands like I was flirting? Well, that might be fun, but probably had a bit of cruelty to it as well, considering this was his friend that wanted to get in his pants, not some lame chick that he couldn’t shake for nothing. Oh, well, I guess I’ll have to be good for the most part, but I can tease him verbally, at least. That would be within the bounds of their close friendship.
He closed his eyes and relaxed, waiting for the dreaming state to claim him once again. Light splashed across the far wall as his mother poked her head in to check on him, as she did every night. He pretended to be asleep.
His left hand began to tremor. Oh, shit he thought, not now, please?
To no avail however as the seizure violently gripped his body and threw him off the bed and to the floor.
“Trey! Come, quick!” she screamed as she grabbed for a belt draped over her son’s chair and wedged it between his teeth. Oh, God. Why did he have to suffer like this? She asked herself, God, or anyone who could tell her. Please, just make it go away, just make it go away.
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