The clock read 3:24. It was the only real light in the room. I don't know what woke me. Probably just being in a new place. I shifted over against Travis and enjoyed the warmth of us pressed close.
"Hmm?" he grumbled in his sleep.
"It's just me. Go back to sleep," I told him. He didn't respond, just went on with whatever he might be dreaming. He felt different against me compared to Parker. When Parker and I had messed around he'd kind of been in charge. Things were more even between Travis and I. I was just as nervous as he was, anxious that he enjoy it as much as I did. Seeing his thin, pale frame laid bare was more exciting than I had imagined.
I loved the feel of him in my hand, the curve of his dick as it arched back toward his stomach, so different from my own. I loved the softness of his skin and the way he'd let himself go once we'd started. His growing confidence that his passion was returned. Feeling his grip on me, his frantic groping only added fuel to our fire. Even cuddled together it was different, his thin body all angles and yet folded delightfully against me. The end wasn't really the end because the point, the goal hadn't been to just get off. Having him sprawled atop me, lazily tracing each other with our fingertips and slowly mapping out one another's bodies was so far above simply getting off.
Even if it did happen more than once.
Idly I stroked his skin, letting my fingertips run down his side and to his hip. Fooling around with Travis had its awkward moments, too. Like when he tried to roll on top of me and kneed me in the balls by accident. Even in the electric green light of his clock I felt myself grow emotional as I looked at his hair, askew. His face, peaceful and unworried in sleep. I leaned over and nibbled on his neck and he stirred.
"Shane?" he asked sleepily. "What are you doing?"
"I can't sleep. And," I said nibbling again, "You're cute and naked right next to me."
"I'm tired. In the morning, okay?" he asked, his voice adorably thick with sleep.
"Okay, Trav. In the morning," I agreed. I slipped an arm under him and held him close and, breathing his hair, sleep eventually claimed me.
My mind struggled into wakefulness in pleasure and mild confusion. I opened my eyes blearily and became aware of a gentle stroking of my dick.
"Morning," Travis whispered.
I turned and looked at him and smiled. "Good morning to you," I replied and slowly moved to grab him, my arms still struggling to wake. Afterward we lay tangled and sticky. He wanted to clean up and I didn't care to let him go. He laughed lightly.
"I was afraid you'd change your mind after seeing me naked once," he said, growing red-faced.
"Are you kidding? I've been day-dreaming about what you might look like under those clothes." I nuzzled him for punctuation.
"You're perfect," he blurted and then cussed under his breath.
I snorted. "Hardly. Why are you grumbling?" I pulled back to look down at his face. His gaze was off to one side and rather than answer me he asked a question.
"Did you ask Parker for advice about...us?"
"Yeah," I replied in confusion. "I told you I did, remember? He called me a pussy?"
"Oh, right, you did say that," he replied and let out a sigh. Still not looking at me he said, "I asked Angie what went wrong with our relationship and she said I seemed to want to worship her instead of date. Clint told me not to, you know, throw myself at you. He also told me to lay off on the...putting people on pedestals. I keep fighting that because you're so perfect for me and...I don't want to drive you away," he finished softly.
"Well, first I'm going to kick Clint's ass, because you can throw yourself at me anytime you feel the urge," I said firmly and grinned at him. He smiled tightly. "Angie did tell me why you guys broke up and, honestly, I think you deserve to be on a pedestal. I hate that you put yourself down, and I know you have baggage and reasons why you do that, but...I used to just think you were cute and kind. Now that I know you I just...."
He turned his head to face me. "What?" he asked quietly.
Do I dare? I am about to cross a line into romantic silliness that I can never tell Parker about because I'd combust with embarrassment. Looking down into his eyes, though, it was the right thing to do. The right time. Hell, Travis was the right everything.
"Travis, I have this theory that all hearts are born wild. Some get tamed because they fall in love. It creates bonds, you know?"
"Okay. I think I can see what you mean."
Feeling a little stupid and overly emotional to the point that I wanted to burst into tears I said, "I will find any way to your wild heart."
He swallowed and stared up at me. "Does that mean....?"
"I love you, Travis," I said steadily.
I don't know if he actually started to cry before I did. I maintain it was the sight of him crying that made me cry, but in the end we were both a wet mess. Of course, Travis was convinced no one would ever fall for him. I told him I was afraid he'd stay with me for the wrong reasons or do things because I wanted to and not that he did. He dispelled that. So it was that Janet walked in on two naked, crying boys.
"Jesus. Did you guys not use lube?"
Somewhat sheepishly I sat at the dining room table while Janet put some eggs on a plate for me. Her husband sat across from me with a half finished plate in front of him. Travis had gone to take a shower not long after his grandmother had walked in on us. I'd dressed slowly, stalling for him to come back so we could 'come eat' as she'd admonished us to do. Travis was taking a suspiciously long time, though, so I ended up out there on my own. I mean, I could have stayed in his room until he got back but I have a feeling his grandmother would have come to get me, eventually.
"Smells good," I said.
"She's a fine cook," he said. "Work up an appetite, did you?"
I flushed and looked away. "Um."
"First time is always special," his grandmother said as she put a plate in front of me. "He's had enough crappy things between his mother, half-siblings and those neighbors of ours."
"Why do you let her be so mean to him?" I hadn't intended to let the thought cross my lips. It was a burr to me, though, when they had done so much to care for Travis and yet left him exposed to her.
Janet sighed as she sat down and took a sip of her tea. She glanced at me and said, "Parenting is sort of a crap shoot. You understand that, right?"
"Well, he's never been a parent," her husband said reasonably.
"No," she said agreeably while still looking at me. "But he's smart."
I thought for a moment. "I can see what you mean from my perspective. You don't know what you're going to get for a parent or if they'll be any good at it."
"There, you see?" she asked and he nodded. Turning back to me she said, "The same is true of children. Take a look at us. We're not violent. Sure, we do a little weed to relax and have the occasional glass of wine but outside of that, we don't go with the drug crowd. I know most people don't talk to their children enough about their bodies and the fact that every one else out there has one, too. They make such a big deal of covering their boobs or their balls," she said and paused to sip her tea before continuing.
"I understand some folks want to be modest or feel others will judge them. I could care less about me, especially now. I've got the flabby, wrinkled balloons, and if I want to air them out and someone doesn't like it " too bad."
"What does that have to do with Travis and his mom?" I asked warily.
"Nothing," she said. "Except that it illustrates a bit of who I am and how I think. My daughter made different choices. Despite the example we set, she didn't turn out the way we did. It's a mistake parents make, thinking that because they want them to or because they set a certain example, their children will agree and adhere to their wishes."
"Exactly," her husband agreed. "Gloria has three children from three different men. That in itself isn't such a big deal, you make children with whomever you want. But she didn't set out to get pregnant, and those men left her high and dry every time."
"I know," she said with a hand in the air. "We do try to moderate her, and I know it hurts him. I do." She sighed and cradled her cup. "One day he has to make the choice to tell her to go shit in her hat, pull it over her head and see how she looks in brown curls. Until then, she can visit here."
I shook my head at her.
"What? You don't agree?"
I looked back and forth between them. "Unless I'm crazy, and that's kind of debatable these days, there is no way Travis would ever ask you to throw your own daughter out of your home for his comfort."
"But it's his home, too," she said with a puzzled tone.
"Yes. One day he'll move out and then it'll be just yours again. But he can retreat to his room or go elsewhere to let you visit in the comfort of your own living room. Because that's who Travis is."
He leaned back and looked at me with wide eyes. "Well, damn. He makes sense, hon."
She pursed her lips. "Damn if he doesn't. Listen here, why are you out with us old folks arguing about his mother when you could be in the shower with him?"
I blinked at her. "Because it feels weird to be in the shower with him and know that you know I'm in the shower with him?" In truth the thought hadn't occurred to me. He'd said the stuff dried to him was a little disgusting, and truth be told, I was ready for a shower too. I just hadn't felt the need, I guess.
"Better get right over that," he said with a snort and chuckled. "Let me tell you, your pecker has a shelf life. If you're in love, don't pass up the opportunities."
"For Christ's sake," Janet snorted. "He's got a brain." She glanced at me, "Teenage boys are usually little more than ambulatory boners. You seem to have enough blood to run your brain and get an erection at the same time."
I sat and stared at her.
She smiled. "Your eggs will get cold."
"Morning," Travis said as he sat down. He was squeaky clean and looking more edible than the eggs. "What did I miss?"
"Your grandparents think I should have conserved water and showered with you," I deadpanned.
He looked at me steadily and, with the tiniest of devilish smiles said, "I waited as long as I could."
"Are you serious?" I asked, well, seriously.
"Your grandmother has noted he has a brain as well as a boner. I guess you'll have to do better than simply assume he'll follow his dick, Travis," his grandfather said and burst out in gravelly laughter.
"I was kidding," Travis said to me somewhat contritely.
"You're lucky you're cute," I told him and addressed my food.
"So, Travis?" Janet asked as she slid a plate in front of him before resuming her seat.
He looked at her in puzzlement. "What?"
His grandfather bopped him on the shoulder. "Do you feel different?"
Oh. My. God. They wanted details.
"Really?" he asked and then let out an embarrassed chuckle, his cheeks red. "We didn't go that far." He paused and glanced at me and, I swear, it was a really loving look. "We went far enough, though. And it was good."
"Hot damn!" his grandfather said and slapped a palm on the table.
"This is so weird," I mumbled. Even though I felt embarrassed I think their honesty about near everything was infecting me. I looked at Travis and said, "We bring our own lube. If some of theirs goes missing, they'll ask more questions."
Travis bubbled out embarrassed laughter, his face red. His grandparents laughed as well, and I was hard pressed not to smile too much.
"You guys heading out today?"
"I need to go home and get cleaned up," I said. "What do you want to do after?"
"Oh. Uh, I assumed you'd hang out with Parker," he replied.
"Well, probably. But you can hang with us, can't you?" I asked in confusion.
"Um, yeah," he replied, seeming to be unsure. "We've been doing basically what I want " watching all the movies. Why don't you pick something?"
Even though his grandparents were permissive in the most extreme sense, I still couldn't voice the thought that, were we doing as I wanted, he'd be naked all day. Not just for that, either. We could watch movies or play games as long as we were pressed together. Shit, we could nap and I wouldn't care much.
"Well, Parker is trying to get me to ride a skateboard. Want to watch me fall on my butt?" I asked and grinned at him.
"I can film it," he replied promptly. "Hey, we could film quotes from the movies." He looked at me brightly and I smiled at him.
Affecting a bad accent I said, "It means Luca Brasi swims with the fishes."
"Sleeps! Not swims!" he said and laughed in delight.
"We filmed once upon a time. Didn't we?" his grandfather said to his wife, looking at her wistfully. Oh. Oh, they mean. I glanced at Travis and his cheeks were red. Oh. But to be able to look at him like that at any point. I liked that.
The day was cold. We put the cuffs of our coats one inside the other and held hands as we walked.
"Do you like any sports?" I asked.
"God, no," Travis replied and wrinkled his nose.
"Good," I said and laughed.
"Do you? I'm guessing not by your answer."
"I don't care much one way or another about sports. You know how it is when someone is really into them, though."
"Annoying. Like I can be with my movies?"
"I sense a trap," I said and rubbed my chin as if in thought. Travis bumped me with his shoulder and I chuckled. "I mean more how they yell and scream at the TV or get all excited at the idea of hurting someone else. Just...weird."
"Yeah. Jocks. I don't understand them," Travis replied. "What do you like to do, though? You've totally bent over backwards watching movies with me, what do you like?"
"I'm easy, I think," I told him and he snorted. "Not like that, punk."
"I don't know," he replied in a teasing tone. He'd changed overnight, practically. I liked it.
"Okay, for you, yes. I'm easy."
"You were easy for Parker, too," he said and laughed.
"No. He had to work for it. It was the opposite here; I had to work for you." I poked him and he squirmed away. "You were playing hard to get."
We walked a few more blocks like that and arrived at my house. I was a little surprised not to find my mom's car. I checked my phone as we entered the house. I had set it to silent the night before and didn't see her text. I frowned as I read she'd gone to visit at Cliff's after work. Oh well, she wasn't home. Something for later.
We entered, and I left him in my room as I went to shower.
I was standing under the hot spray trying to scrub the dried spend from my stomach when Travis's voice startled me.
I slid the frosted glass door open slightly to look, but he wasn't in the room. "Yeah?" Motion caught my eye just outside the open door. His foot as it swung back and forth. He must have been seated with his back to the wall in the hallway.
"You said you and Parker fooled around?"
"Yeah. Like you said you and Clint had a thing," I said, wondering where he was headed. I closed the door and resumed cleaning.
"How far did you guys, you know, go?" His voice had a slight warble. Not as confident away from the permissive grandparents, maybe.
"Kissing. Jerked each other off. Parker made a huge mess. Why? How far did you and Clint go?" I was curious as to why he was asking, and of course thinking of these things was making me plump up.
"N...not as far as you did. We were going to fool around and then...." I didn't hear anything else and I wondered if his voice was just drowned out from the spray or if he'd stopped talking.
"What? You were going to fool around and then what?"
I heard the hollow sound of him sitting down on the toilet lid. I opened the door a tad, trying not to get water everywhere and still see what was going on. He wasn't trying to look at me, and I wasn't sure if I should be offended or not. A closer inspection showed a crease on his forehead and pursed lips. I decided to get my shower done with despite the sudden urge to invite him to join me. I liked fooling around with Travis, but I also wanted to get him to Parker's and just hang out with them. After rinsing my hair and trying not to be too self-conscious while I'd had my eyes closed, I shut the water off and grabbed my towel.
We have a tile floor in the bathroom. It can be cold in the winter, like now, and I have a habit of doing a lot of drying in the tub. Once out, though, my bravery vanished and I felt a little silly. I wrapped the towel around my waist and squatted before Travis, who seemed frozen. His eyes tracked me, though, and he glanced away for a moment.
"Clint and I didn't really do anything," he said.
"Good. He missed his chance. Fucker's already in the " what? What's wrong?"
He waved a hand at me. "Nothing, really."
"Travis," I said in a warning tone and tipped forward to kneel before him. "Let's not start out by thinking there are things we can't tell each other. Huh?"
A small smile flashed across his face. "I know. I'm weird."
"You're mine. Whatever your problem right now is, that's mine, too. So give."
He let out a tiny sigh and closed his eyes. "It's not a big deal. I don't like swearing. You don't swear much, but that one caught me off guard and it was about my best friend."
I felt a little sheepish. "I was only fooling, Trav. I mean, he is on my list for telling you not to throw yourself at me. I want you to do that," I told him and chuckled. He smiled thinly. "Really, I didn't know it would bother you. I'm sorry."
"That's small," he said and leaned back a touch and finally meeting my eyes. "When I mentioned that Clint and I...I may have misled you, a bit."
I frowned lightly. I wasn't sure why he'd have not told me the truth, but I wasn't really sure what it changed at this point. It appeared he wanted to set things straight, so.....
"Okay. Well, what's the whole truth?"
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We didn't really, um. It wasn't so much fooling around as, kind of, a failed attempt."
I tilted my head to one side. "Okay. Why is this an issue?"
He grimaced slightly. "Well, we were going to. Only I said I'd experiment with him, and he wanted his first time to be more than satisfying someone's curiosity."
"Understandable. Surprising for someone who had you in front of them, but okay. What's the big deal?"
He twisted his hands together nervously. "When we went to bed he rolled over and he...poked me. I told him he was and he stopped. I'm pretty sure he went in the bathroom and, you know, took care of his situation."
"Okay. I'm still not seeing the problem, Trav. Help me out here."
He sighed and met my gaze. "I know you don't like me being self-deprecating. You have to understand that, for me, it feels like I'm being honest. I'm a pale, skinny nerd, and up until last night....I had no experience."
I looked at him with what must have been a perplexed expression and shivered as a cool drop of water raced down my back from my hair. "I still don't understand why you're upset. I've already told you I love you as you are."
He looked at me like he was going to cry, which made the back of my throat tickle with a threat to join him.
"I had no idea what I was doing last night. I might have given you the idea that I have some experience but I'm...a total virgin. A loser."
"No. No, no, no," I said firmly and stood, quickly wrestling my towel into place as it came loose. I pulled him up to a standing position and cupped his face in my hands. "There is nothing wrong with you. I'm glad I don't have to compete with someone else you've been with in your mind. I'm totally happy to explore all this with you " can't wait, in fact. When are you going to get that I love you, I think you're sexy and...I mean, that's kind of the whole thing right there."
"But...what we did...you'd already done with Parker."
He looked at me steadily. "I want to be who you've gone farthest with. I don't want to compete with Parker " I want to...to...."
"There is no competition. You're my boyfriend. I'll tell you that a million times until it starts to sink in."
He bit his lip. Oh, I'm fucked. Whatever is coming next, he's getting his way and he knows it.
"Can I dry your hair?"
Okay, not something I'd have guessed, even though I wasn't sure where his mind had been headed. "Uh, yeah, sure. If you want."
I turned to reach for a towel, trying to adjust the one around my waist. You really can't move as a guy in a towel and have it stay. How do women do that boob tuck thing and have it work out? Was it the sponginess of a breast or something? That thought process ended abruptly when I lost the towel from my waist. I turned quickly, one hand slapping down to try and catch it, but Travis had it in his hands. He lifted it tentatively and, feeling a little silly, I tilted my head down so he could more easily reach. He started to dry my hair, but not as I usually did which was to rub it quickly.
"You should pat your hair dry. It causes it to frizz if you don't," he said quietly. "Angie told me that. It's true."
"Oh, okay," I said. He started wiping my neck, leaving my head covered. He jostled me slightly, hands falling away, and I adjusted my footing " and then nearly fell down as my dick was suddenly wrapped in a warm, wet embrace.
"Oh my....holy....Travis!" I grunted and started to move a little, but the feelings were beyond my ability to process. My knees felt a little weak and I leaned back slightly and made contact with the sink which I was grateful for " at least I wouldn't collapse to the floor. It took almost no time for me to be completely hard and then to completely empty my balls. I mean, for the rest of my life, empty. My mind whirled and tried to grasp the whys and what just happeneds. My dick felt sensitive and my body so, so relaxed and then Travis pulled the towel off my head. His expression was determined. Resolute. Perhaps slightly nervous.
"Now it's just me. I've-"
I grabbed him, picking him up and kissing him hard. He wanted to feel confident that he was at the top of the pecking order or whatever screwed up little thing was going on in his head? I'm fucking game. I started backing him out of the room, pulling at his clothes as I went. He retreated steadily under my assault, initially protesting that I didn't have to do anything but I was beyond pretty words and declarations. Travis had opened a door and I was going to walk through it. Just the idea had me standing up at attention again.
I pushed him back onto my bed and he looked at me a little dazed and with puffy lips. I grabbed his shoes and yanked them off unceremoniously before grabbing for his belt. The buckle seemed too much for me, for some reason, as my fingers just fumbled so I grabbed his pants at the waist and just pulled.
"Shane! Let me...okay!" He hollered and began to fight with his buckle. His words didn't make any sense, and unless I heard stop or no I was probably a little deaf. The pants slid down his legs, dragging his underwear in their wake, hanging cockeyed around his knees. Only for a moment, though. With a final double yank his socks joined everything else on the floor, and I climbed onto the bed after my boyfriend.
He backed up a little on the bed, maybe to make room for me, maybe as a tentative retreat " I'll never know. I had one thing in mind and for once it wasn't kissing him or even building up from his neck to his nipples. He'd been pushing his heels in to back up so his legs were already open to me - I nudged his legs a little for more access and dropped my face on his groin.
"Ohmigod!" Travis burst out. Oh my God was right. The bend in his dick was pronounced and I felt every bit of that curve as I pushed my face down until I had every bit of him in me. Travis has a penis that was in proportion with his body " no tiny guy with an enormous dong. I liked that, especially right then, because I pulled back and dropped my face down again to engulf every bit of his manhood.
"Holy...crap," he groaned as he wiggled under me. "Uh. Oh, Shane this...you didn't...." His litany went on and the excitement in his voice, the breathlessness, only urged me on. I'd do this again, slower, try doing different things to make him feel good, but right now this was about making this boy feel like who he was " number one.
"I'm close!" he said, his voice straining. I pushed down and reached beneath him, gripping his butt and pushing him up. He released and I could feel the head of his dick twitching and pulsing against the back of my mouth. I stayed in place, sucking slightly just because saliva was running from me like I was starved or something.
When I did lift my head I looked up at him. He was staring down at me, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.
"I didn't mean you had to do it back," he said, voice zonked.
"Don't you get it?" I asked as I crawled up his body until I could look directly in his eyes. "I want to. I want you."
He smiled. It wasn't shy, not sly. Not scared and not worried. Happiness. "I'm yours, then."
I pulled him over on top of me, right how I liked him " sprawled across me like a Travis blanket. I held him loosely while trailing my fingers up and down his skin. I felt incredibly sated and comfortable. I loved the fooling around, but the moments afterward were a close second. There was a peace, a relaxation with him in my arms, flopped on top of me and the toes of his feet resting on my shins, that went beyond being horny or whatever. I think, maybe, it's where love lives, in those tender moments after the heavy breathing and wet sounds have faded away.
As I held him I reflected that wild hearts weren't like horses, who had to be broken in order to be ridden. Wild hearts were simply looking for the territory that would let them roam free, yet have a place to call home. A sense of responsibility, of love and protectiveness swept through me as I realized Travis's heart would call mine home. That was enormous. More than my mind could process and I wasn't sure I'd really understood that until that very moment. I would rise to that challenge " I'd found my way into his wild heart.Next Chapter Previous Chapter