“Be right back,” he said and went to shower. I watched him go, then with a sigh I turned toward his bookshelf. I scanned the titles until I found IT and took it down from the shelf. It was a large book and I turned to the inside of the dust cover to read the teaser. I was distracted, though. The anger I'd felt when his grandfather and mother had been there was bubbling just beneath the surface. I'd drawn on it for strength then, and it had felt good, right and justified. Now, I looked at it and wondered if that were entirely true.
The anger had power. I had hurt Joe Fimmer – not that he didn't have it coming, but I was never like that before. In the moment, I hadn't cared that I'd hurt him. I'd deliberately set him up and threatened him afterward. My anger was rooted in my mother's long, poor history with me, the revelations of my parentage, and finally having something precious of my own and the stress of people not wanting to let it be.
But the anger was also a bit scary. I wasn't in control when anger was behind the wheel. I wasn't thinking ahead or considering consequences. Right now that seemed okay. It was aimed at the right people, I thought. But what about later? What about whatever my mother had? Would this be how it started? Mindless anger? Was I going to lose control over it over time, or was I only fooling myself into thinking I had any control?
A light knock on the open door drew my attention. Cole's dad was in the doorway.
“Hi, Drew. I'm sorry you had to see that,” he said with an embarrassed look.
“My family is worse,” I said with a little smile. “I'm just worried for Cole.”
He nodded and ran a hand over his face. “We have court this week – I met with a lawyer this past Wednesday – and Laurie isn't happy.” He sighed. “Look, I know you and Cole have gotten real close. I'm not an idiot, I know what teenagers get up to. I'm not saying I approve, but I'm asking you guys be careful and respect each other. This is a really emotionally charged time. Can you do that?”
My face felt so hot. “Yes.” I paused and then said, “I think I'm falling in love with him. Have fallen.”
“Well, he'll be relieved to hear you feel the same way he does. Oops! Maybe I wasn't supposed to say that!” He grinned. And said goodnight.
Cole came back to the room maybe fifteen minutes later. He had on his underwear and a tee shirt. His hair was still damp, in that way that turned me on so much. He looked so freshly scrubbed and adorable. Nervous, but appealing in a way that made my heart beat faster and forced me to adjust myself.
“You found the book,” he said with a smile.
“Yep. I just need to brush,” I said.
“Okay, I just did. Want to read when you get back?”
“No,” I said. I waited for his expression to take on a hint of disappointment and then I said, “But if you take off your shirt and lie next to me, I'll read with you.”
The ends of his eyes crinkled and he smiled a bit. “Only if you do the same.”
“Deal,” I said quietly. I exited the room and brushed my teeth. I debated jerking off before I left the bathroom because I had a raging boner at this point, but hell with it. We were going to make out, he was going to know I had one anyway. I finger combed my hair and headed back into the room. Cole was on top of the blanket, legs crossed at the ankle with the book beside him. Wow. I mean, I was tingling all over.
I closed the door behind me and pulled off my shirt, tossing it atop my bag. Then I slipped out of my jeans, conscious that he was watching my every move. After setting my socks aside I climbed onto the bed with him, the book the only thing between us.
“You're pointing at me,” he said with a smile, blushing.
With a glance to confirm his state I said, “You started it.”
“So, um....” He placed his hand on the book cover and I reached out, lifting it up and placing it behind me. Then I scooted over to him, rolling on top of him, pressing my erection into him and feeling his press against me.
“I want to finish the kiss from my house,” I said huskily.
“Any time, any way you want me – I'm yours, babe,” he said softly.
As I drifted to sleep I made a mental note to tell Alessia that Cole had also been a good boy, and definitely deserving of some love.
I came awake slowly and was momentarily confused as to where I was. I turned my head and took in Cole's face, smiling gently as he looked down at me with his head propped up on his hand.
“What're you doing?” I mumbled.
“Watching you sleep,” he said softly.
“Freak,” I mumbled and smiled at him. He settled in beside me, the heat of his body warming me in ways blankets couldn't.
“I was thinking I should terrorize Brax by telling him I got some last night, since he did that about Alessia,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone.
I groaned. “Is this going to be a competition, now?”
“If he gets to talk, I do too, right? It's like the bro code.”
I grunted. “I have to pee.”
“Me too. You go first.”
I grunted again and climbed from bed. I crossed the hallway quickly, did my business and then washed my face and brushed my teeth before stealing back across the hallway. I had on my underwear, but I still didn't want to be caught outside the bedroom like that. I closed the door behind me and Cole was lying on his side, smiling at me.
“What?” I asked.
“Just enjoying the show. Rawr.” He giggled.
“Nerd,” I said, smiling. “Go.”
He slid from beneath the covers and I admired his lithe form. I made no effort to hide the fact I was checking him out. He gave me a knowing smile and left the room. I sighed. He was so pretty. 'Less didn't think so. Not sure Cole registered to Teo other than that I was happy with him. I'd discovered the night before that he had a hard time growing body hair, and it felt amazing. I could feel muscles, smooth skin and very fine, soft, short hair along his body. It was fine enough that you almost couldn't feel it at all.
Fuck. I was rock hard again. After last night, I knew I could do something about it – with him. He came back into the room and seemed a little surprised to find me standing where he'd left me. I held a hand out, and he closed the door behind him before reaching out to me. I turned him and pushed lightly against his chest to send him sitting back down on the bed. Then I straddled him and leaned in to kiss him.
Last night hadn't been fast, really. But now it was morning and someone might come to check on us, to invite us to breakfast or something equally boring compared to what I was doing right now. I had to be quick and quiet. With a sense of urgency I pushed him back with my body so that he was lying flat, his lower legs dangling from the edge of the bed.
I slid backward and placed my hands on his hips. “I want to see.”
He stared at me with a hazy expression. “Whatever you want,” he croaked. I pulled on his underwear, dragging it over his erection and down his legs before tossing them aside. His dick was smaller than mine – more slender. The head was smaller and tapered which may have been a turn off to some people, I guess. Stupid people would be my opinion. He lifted one leg to plant his foot on the edge of the bed, and his balls lifted – they were drawn close to the base of his dick – and I saw the swell of his cheeks beneath them.
“Are you going to...?”
I tore my eyes from his dick with great effort. “What?”
He was flushed, and it made him look so damn good. I didn't know how anyone could look at him and not be mesmerized – my siblings must be damaged.
“Will you take yours off?” he asked, his voice laced with desire.
“Do you want me to?”
He swallowed. “Yes,” he whispered.
I reached down and shoved my underwear down, bending enough to remove them and toss them away. He stared at my erection and I stood still, letting him have the same moment I was savoring with him. I might have stayed like that forever, but the urge to touch him became overwhelming. I put my knee on the bed on the inside of his foot and leaned forward. He pushed down with his foot, bringing his other leg up on to the bed and I moved between his legs and pressed our bodies together, grinding on him slightly.
“Anything I want?” I asked breathlessly.
He pushed up against me. “Yes. Anything.”
“You like this?” I demanded, my voice a hoarse whisper. His legs pressed to my sides, thighs slick against my skin.
“Yes,” he whined.
I reached down, grabbing his hips and working my hands underneath to grab at his butt. He pushed up against me and my hands slid down further and I grabbed him, filling both my hands – and I was flying. I pulled him against me, rubbing and thrusting in mindless ecstasy. I say mindless because I was too busy trying to feel everything, to absorb him. I wanted to melt together and be a single entity where I didn't have to think about us being separated, about ill mothers and philandering fathers, divorcing parents and grandfathers who tried to steal him from me.
He was beneath me, warm, soft and hard all in one. I pulled him tightly against me as I ground into him. He was whispering things – crazy things. I could have him. He'd go first. Anything for me. Please, don't stop. Stop? I don't think I could have with a gun pointed at me. I thrust forward against him, our bodies sliding with slick friction. I was harder than I'd ever been, aching and ready to burst.
“Uhhhh.” He groaned, low and enticing. He shuddered under me, and hot fluid splashed against my erection and stomach. With the extra lubrication I redoubled my efforts, straining to melt us together. Soon after I let out a hiss, ejecting the results of my passion for him. I groaned lightly, covering his mouth with mine and he reached behind me, cupping my behind and pulling me against him to grind our cooling spend into each other – mixing it as if we had actually been one creature that had produced a massive orgasm.
We lay like that, chests heaving and sliding against each other. He was planting small kisses beside my ear and whispering things so sweet it was painful to hear them. His fevered whispers ranged from repeating how I could have him anytime, anywhere I wanted to how good I felt and how much he loved me. He went on about how hot I was to him and my thoughts spun as my body trembled from the delight of his skin on mine. How had I arrived here? How could I keep him?
When could we do that again?
We spent the better part of the day lying in bed and reading IT. It wasn't as difficult as one might think. It had the added benefit of being cuddled as we read. We only stopped reading a half dozen times to kiss or press against each other in a display of our desire to be close; we read nine chapters.
“Hey, guys,” his dad said, standing in the open doorway.
Cole stretched beside me. “Hey, Dad.”
“Are you guys reading the same book at the same time?” he asked, sounding amused.
“Yep,” Cole said.
“Kids,” his dad said with affection. “Listen, come have a sandwich – Keith whipped up some lunch – and then you and I are supposed to go for a haircut and to Quigley's.”
“Oh,” Cole said with a note of disappointment. “I forgot about that.”
“I know. Hanging out with dear old dad isn't as much fun as new boyfriend and all, but we have an agreement. Right?” His dad looked at him expectantly.
“Right,” he said.
His dad nodded and turned his gaze to me. “We can drop you home after lunch, Drew.”
“Okay, thanks,” I replied. After his dad walked away I turned toward Cole. “What agreement?”
“What what?” Cole asked, playing dumb.
“I will pinch you,” I threatened.
He smiled crookedly. “As you know, things have been pretty up and down. Dad wants to make sure he and I are talking and are on the same page with stuff. Plus, he and I always used to have a hang out day – but we haven't for a while. Different schedules, needing to see all us kids when he wasn't living there – kind of a mess. We like going to Quigley's for an iced latté and to talk.”
“So...your agreement is to hang out with your dad?” I asked, thinking it sounded like an awkward way to term things. “It sounds more like a trade was made.”
“Well,” he said, dragging the word out and smiling. “I may have negotiated to have my boyfriend sleep over after the ball.”
I stared at him. No wonder his dad had said something to me last night. Anyone with an ounce of sense had to know something was going to happen last night, or that it was highly probable. I probably should talk about that, but it seemed weird. So instead I said, “You said ball. I've seen yours. I like them.”
His crooked smile grew a bit wider. “I wish you could stay again tonight.”
I studied his face for a moment. “I do too. But we have time. I want us to last, remember?”
He took on an innocent look. “You only lasted a minute more than I did.”
It took me a second to follow him and I gave him a playful frown. “You wait until I get you alone again.”
He grinned fully and I smiled at him and we broke down giggling. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Probably having dinner next door,” I said. “Have to catch up with Alessia and Teo.”
“He probably wants to brag about bagging Ashley,” he said mischievously.
“I guess I should brag about bagging you, then,” I said, rolling into him and kissing him lightly.
“I hope so. I know I'm fucking bragging,” he said and chuckled at my expression. “What?”
“Bad, Cole,” I said, not thinking of anything else. “After dinner I guess I'll have to wait for you to call. I have to do laundry. I work tomorrow.”
We were called out to the kitchen and joined Keith and Cole's dad for lunch. Keith had made what he called Dagwood sandwiches – and they were huge. He told us about some old comic strip that used to be in newspapers that had a guy named Dagwood who made these huge sandwiches. Who names their kid Dagwood?
After I got dropped at home, I went and started my laundry before getting in the shower to wash off that morning's exertions. It was tough not to relive that morning in my mind, and I didn't even fight it. I wasn't a rebound. He loved me, and I loved him. My only real worry was how to make it all last. There was literally no adult I could ask who knew how to make things last. My mother: no. The Petrakises: only if you wanted to be miserable. I didn't even know Brax's mom, but he was only here due to his father cheating. Cole's parents: oh hell no.
Teo had serial dated, and I suspected had done way more than date, though I'd never thought about it any more than to get off. Even then I hadn't pictured his boyfriends or whatever. How in the hell would I make this work without even having a clue how to have a relationship? Suddenly I felt cold and twitched under the warm water, thinking of losing Cole somehow. We already had external threats – his mother and grandfather. There were some people at school like Joe Fimmer. The one thing I could control was me, and I had no clue how to handle that.
It didn't help that my thinking was impeded by thinking of his body and how he'd felt. The control he handed me. How needed I felt. I really loved what we did together, but I also enjoyed the other things – reading, the horror movies, dressing up and going to the ball. I wanted to count stars with him, debate ideas, stand together against all obstacles and get him into bed frequently. All of this and more was within my grasp; how do I keep it all from slipping through my fingers?
The water began to cool and I shut off the shower. After toweling dry I dressed in sweats and a tee, electing to forego socks. My room always stayed warm, even if the rest of the house was decidedly cooler – no idea why. I sat on my bed, back to the headboard, and spent maybe thirty minutes of fruitless brooding about how to keep Cole with me when I heard the back door close, meaning a Petrakis had just come over.
Teo. “Upstairs,” I called.
He took the stairs two at a time and entered my room with a small box in hand. He stopped in the doorway and smiled at me crookedly. “You're sitting down. Can Cole?”
Perplexed I asked, “Why wouldn't he?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Okay, guess that didn't happen. Allie owes me five bucks.”
“What are you-” And then the penny dropped. “You guys bet on if we'd have sex?”
“It was late, we got bored.” He shrugged and looked completely not sorry.
“How bored do you have to be to focus on my sex life?” I asked with a snort.
“Well, we'd already covered ours,” he said with a smile and sat on the opposite end of the bed from me, placing the small box before him.
“Wait. You guys had sex? Last night? I thought Ashley had to take the limo back?” I asked.
He wiggled his eyebrows and tilted his head from side to side. “Haven't you ever snuck out?”
“Snuck out where?” I asked.
“So sheltered,” he said and snickered.
“We all knew that. You snuck out?” I asked.
“So did he,” he said, spreading the blame. “Folded down the back seat of my hatchback and we had us some sexy times.”
I goggled at him. “You barely know the guy!”
“Eh,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Let me tell you something, Drew, old son, old sock, little brother of mine.”
“It's like a year, Teo. I'm not six,” I said, unimpressed.
He chuckled, ran his fingers over the cardboard box and looked up at me. “I started dating when I was fifteen. I found out people thought I looked a little older 'cause of my body hair, so I could pass for eighteen, or people could talk themselves into it. The only guy I knew in our school that was out was Eric Keeler – you know him, right?”
“Um.” I thought for a moment. “Oh, right. Brown hair, green eyes, about five ten? He dated a few guys from the GSA. I heard he was dating someone from another school, now.”
“That's the guy. Alessia liked him more than I did, looks wise, but he was a pretty nice guy. Still, the GSA wasn't my thing – and I actually don't know why. Just...no interest. But one afternoon I went over to the community college with my dad to deliver something he'd fixed, and I saw a sign for their version of a GSA. I got curious and I decided to show up. Met a few guys. Faked my way into a few dates and...lost my virginity.”
I raised my eyebrows. “At fifteen? To a college guy?”
He waved away my expression. “Sixteen. He was only eighteen himself. I checked out the club for SUNY Binghamton, and caught the eye of a professor. I thought he was hot, even thought I was in love. He didn't ask a lot of questions and I ignored the ring on his finger,” he said, looking away after a moment. “None of that lasted. I slowly began to realize they liked my outside and maybe my personality on the surface, but none of them knew me. Not me like you know me.”
“I've known you forever.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Still – what do you know about Cole?”
I shrugged. “Horror fan, both books and movies. Likes video games and some sports. Good relationship with his dad.” I smiled wickedly. “He's fucking hot.”
“I bet you can pick out his favorite book?”
“Books,” I corrected. “So?”
“That's important shit, Drew. I like sex as much as the next person, but that only lasts so long. You can have sex, and afterward you kind of go do your own thing – or you actually make a relationship with someone and have sex with them, and go back to having a relationship. Like, sex can be this little thing that exists on its own, but I think it's better when it's part of a whole.”
I frowned lightly. “You regret your hook ups?”
“Eh. Regret is a little strong. I liked the sex. I felt good, most of the time. To a point I felt a little disposable. Part of that was my fault – only one guy found out I was sixteen and he freaked the fuck out. Screamed how I could get him thrown in jail, get the fuck out, Jesus, Mary and Joseph'ed me and would have splashed holy water on me, maybe.”
I frowned a little harder. “Well, I guess he's right. I mean, I always thought you liked older guys. Don't you?”
“Initially, I thought that, too. Then I kissed you, and that didn't work out that great. But I liked that you got me. Knew things I liked and that I could hang out with you and share secrets and have a relationship. It got me thinking really hard that maybe I was looking at things the wrong way.”
I grunted. It had never occurred to me that I could teach anyone something. Not that I'd been trying. I guess I was an example of a sort.
“Anyway, Ashley bops up all flushed from being embarrassed and asks me to the ball. I was like, aww. No one blushes for me. He's being so sweet. So I said sure. And he flipped and wanted to make plans, so we agreed to meet up later. Then we talked and I was genuinely surprised that he was interesting – my kind of interesting.”
“Exactly. Video games, board games, card games – Ash is into it. He went with me to Beyond Boarders for their Saturday morning card game frenzy.”
I raised an eyebrow, not having known that. “So you guys...I mean, you got a real relationship going?”
“Most real I've ever had, Drew. I'm loving it.”
“Huh,” I said. “That's awesome. You guys look good together.”
He smiled indulgently at me. “You and Cole look like you're made for each other. It makes me happy to see how he looks at you.”
I tilted my head and tried to think of the times Cole and I have looked at each other. “How does he look at me?”
He leaned forward. “It's when you aren't looking. It's like the only thing in the room that matters is you.”
“So, I saw you come home alone, and I have been gathering a survival kit for you to help you out,” he said proudly and with a glint of humor in his eye. He patted the box and I looked at it suspiciously.
I rubbed my face. “You know, I was just thinking about how I have no one to ask about how to try and make this thing with Cole last. You've dated so much I figured, you know.”
“That I could show you how to fuck one up, but not make it last?” he asked and laughed at my expression. “I get it, I do. But my mistakes can be a help to you. Besides, some things aren't mistakes – it's knowledge that I'm going to pass on to you.”
He reached into the box and pulled out a package of condoms, a plastic bottle which I assumed was lube, something with a bulbous end and a rubbery proboscis, and then a box that had the picture of a dick on it. A dildo? He bought me a sex toy? Suddenly I wanted to derail this. Change the subject. Sex! No, not sex. Well, not Teo and Ashley sex. Alessia!
“Um, so Alessia and Brax,” I said.
He rolled his eyes. “They went down on each other. She. Won't. Shut. Up. About it. She's been asking me advice for sucking on a D, but I guess girlfriend wasn't thinking ole Brax was going to reciprocate. I'm telling you, Drew, the guy is taking good care of her.”
I was momentarily stunned. “I. She. Uh, I don't.” I stared at him for a second. “I don't think I want to hear about Brax's tongue and her vajayjay.”
“Want to hear about her tongue and his dick? I have details. Nauseatingly-”
“No. No I do not!” I said firmly.
“Is it the vajayjay that has you spooked or the fact that it's your sister?”
“Little of both, I think,” I said, wondering how I'd gotten here and how to get back out. “Um, you and Ashley?”
He grinned widely. “He's got a nice body. Not real athletic, but you can feel he's a male. Healthy male. He lost his virginity last night.”
“Um, you blew him. Didn't that count?”
“Eh, depends on your definition. Not that it matters. Straight men think a woman who hasn't had another man is somehow pure so he can imprint on her by taking that first memory. It's a bullshit power thing. I'll admit, I feel pretty good having been his first.” He paused. “But to my mind, there is a big difference between oral and anal. Cherry popping is kind of a penetration thing.”
I covered my face for a moment and then looked up at him. “So...he's special?”
His expression softened. “When we met up he'd brought a card deck with him. We talked as I drove us out to the old asylum – you know the place?”
I nodded. “You showed me the pictures once. Used to be the Binghamton State hospital. Fucking gorgeous inside.”
“That's the place,” he said excitedly. “So I parked around behind the building where some trees are growing wild since they don't keep the grounds up, and got busy with my boy.”
I grinned at him. “Is this where we brag about our conquests last night?”
He smiled and pointed at me. “I want to hear every bit, but it brings me to this stuff,” he said, drawing my attention back to his sexual care package. “Now look. I know I made wise about you sitting and stuff – but did you guys go for it all?”
I shook my head, blushing a little, yet excited to share my passion for Cole. “We jerked each other off last night. Lights were out, and it felt amazing. His body feels so good. Then, this morning, we kind of...I don't know, humped? He was telling me I could have him any way I wanted him, anytime, anywhere. It was...overwhelming, in a way.”
“Ah. Nice, you've discovered the joy of frottage.”
“What? What does that mean?”
“You get naked, hop on each other and create some friction,” he said, grinning. “Like you said, kind of hump each other until things reach their natural end.”
I blushed but smiled and nodded. “Yeah, that. Frottage, huh?”
“Yep. So I'm glad this stuff didn't arrive too late, especially if Cole is already talking bottoming.”
I looked at him blankly. “Bottoming? I mean, he was underneath me this morning,” I said uncertainly, heat flaring in my face.
“Nope, nope,” he said. “I forget sometimes that your mom let you have no internet and shit. In a way that's good, not so much porn either.”
I flushed. “Not because I didn't want to see.”
“Eh, mixed bag. Little unrealistic, even if it can be hot because it skips out of the less sexy parts of sex.”
I was confused. “How can parts of sex be unsexy?”
“Okay, let me back up,” he said with a smile. “As your big brother, I will answer everything you ask truthfully – I know this box might have you thinking this is a joke of some kind, but I'm dead serious. So first, a bottom is the person getting fucked. A top is the person doing the fucking.”
“Oh. Um, right. I think I knew that. I guess I just didn't, you know, put it together with what Cole and I were – holy shit.” My eyes were wide as I looked at Teo. “He wants me to fuck him.”
“Well,” he said, dragging the word out. “How about we go with he's open to the idea. If he's watched porn, he may have some...unrealistic expectations.”
I shook my head. “Like what?”
“Well, like this. Take your fingers,” he said and help up his left hand. “Make a fist like this. Now look at the end by your thumb. Pretend that's an asshole. Now with your other hand, push your finger in that pretend asshole.”
Dubious, I obeyed.
“Okay, not so tough, right? But let's not forget, the old leather cheerio there is a muscle that we don't flex unless we're letting things out. So hold your fingers in a fist, but tight like you're gonna punch someone, and then try your finger again.
Frowning, I tried again, but of course made very little progress. “That's what sex with a guy is like?”
“Crude example, but sort of,” he said. “So there are a few things that are super important for someone who is going to bottom. The first thing is to be clean. This guy here,” he said as he picked up the bulbous item, “is a big help. You fill it with warm water, squirt it up there and let it wash things out.”
I cleared my throat. “Um.”
“Trust me – smell of crap and someone getting it on their dick is a huge turn off for most people. I don't know about you, but I don't want to have sex with the people turned on by poop.”
“Oh,” I said in understanding.
“They sell enemas in the store,” he said, “but they are filled with saline. It's okay for that once in a while thing, but saline is bad for repeated use because it can cause problems for your intestine, okay? You can read up on all this yourself, but for now trust me that I'm telling you the truth even if it sounds kind of weird.”
“Oh, no! I trust you. I mean, this is a weird conversation, but...yeah.”
He leaned forward. “Sex shouldn't be embarrassing. Most of us do it, and there are an awful lot who want to do it all the time. Never be embarrassed to talk sex with me.” He gave me a pointed look and I nodded quickly.
“I got you this one because it's the same one I have, and it works really well. Next thing is lube,” he said and placed the bulb back on the bed and picked up the bottle. “Stuff that you can wash off with water is great. You'll have to try out different things, but I like this one. It's a little watery, so be careful or you'll have it everywhere. Remember how your finger couldn't get into your fist?”
“Well, some lube and some patience are your best friends. Use plenty of lube and work the muscles of his hole – or yours. See, if you flex your arm, your brain knows how to work that muscle. With your butt it's the same thing, except you don't flex that one. You have to teach yourself how to relax that muscle. Go slow, use a finger, then two.” He paused. “I'm assuming you know all about condoms?”
“Health class,” I said with a nod, not feeling quite as embarrassed. “But if it's guys...I mean, he can't get pregnant.”
“Right. But you guys can still get STDs – I mean, if you're only having sex with each other not so much, but there is also if someone isn't so clean, you can get stuff in your dick and get an infection. Never happened to me or with my partners, but it's a thing. Your choice.”
“Okay,” I said. “Um, why the dildo?”
“Easy. You should know what it feels like. If you work that thing into you, then you'll understand what Cole is going to deal with the first time he takes you. You want to have him, right? But you want him to feel good and not be miserable, right?”
“Of course,” I said quickly. “I could hurt him?”
“Drew,” he said with a shake of his head. “Think of that finger and your fist. Forcing in. Now think about how your dick is way more sensitive than your hand, and how it'd be similar for your hole, not to mention your insides.”
“Oh. I didn't think of that.”
“That's why I'm here. So you take this dildo and this lube and you educate yourself. I'd suggest the shower. This guy has a suction cup so you can try different heights. Work on relaxing your hole, so you get some idea what Cole will go through. Different angles hit different parts.”
I frowned lightly. “So this...you and Ashley....”
“Yep. I cleaned out and took his dick. When we talk about changing roles, I have to teach him, too.” He smiled widely. “When I tap that sweet bubble butt, I'm going to want him to want to take my dick again, not hate it so much he runs back to the closet.”
We laughed and I felt kind of giddy at the open discussion of something that I hadn't realized I was so ignorant about. “So let me ask you this,” I said as my laughter tapered away. “Muscles take a little time to learn this right? Do I want to jump right to that?”
“Um, I wouldn't, no,” he said. “I've bottomed before so I knew what to do, how to relax. But if you – hey, have you guys gone down on each other?”
“No. On my to-do list,” I said with a grin. Then, unable to stop, “He's so fucking pretty. His dick is, too.”
He chuckled and I laughed from nerves.
“Okay, well, use a finger on him when you do. Wiggle that finger until you find a little nub up there. That's the prostate and he should like you rubbing that a lot. A whole lot. He'll probably pre-cum a lot then, too.”
“Uh. Okay,” I said, feeling hot and wondering when I'd have a chance to apply some of this knowledge and the idea was pretty exciting. “So...things are looking good for you and Ashley? He's what you want?”
He tilted his head to one side and gave me a lopsided grin. “After we were done, after we cuddled up a bit you know what we did? Played a card game. We literally went from fucking to gaming. He's a fucking keeper, Drew. Best guy I've ever been involved with, bar none.”
I nodded and smiled at him. “I'm glad for you, Teo. You seem happy.”
“So changing the subject – unless you had anything else?” he asked.
“Um, no. Thanks. Really.”
He smiled widely. “My pleasure. So, you and Dad really had it out yesterday.”
I frowned. “It was a dick move on his part. It was bad enough to walk in and find him rifling through stuff like someone didn't live here, but I walked in with Cole. We were making out pretty hard and I was feeling like things were going to be headed to the next level when I realized I had company.”
“Oh,” he said, dragging the word. “It wasn't just surprising you in the house, but he cock blocked you. I totally get it. I mean, I got it last night – not Ashley, I mean I understood,” he said and grinned.
“Yeah, yeah, you got some nerd dick, I got it,” I said with a smile and a roll of my eyes. It felt kind of weird to speak of it so casually, but also refreshing.
“It was good nerd dick, too,” he said and winked comically. “But I mean Dad was completely unwilling to see where he could be anything but completely right. Things are fucked up right now, Drew. Could be for a while – maybe even the rest of the time we're in town before college and well after. I found out they are having a pretty big shed put in our back yard next week, and next weekend we'll have to clean out that old one-car garage that we never use for a car.”
“Yeah. Making it into my room,” I said a little morosely.
“Oh, baby brother, I am about to make your year,” he said with a huge grin.
I looked at him with curiosity and waited.
“There is a side door on the garage. One to the outside. It's perfect for sneaking boyfriends in.”
I started to open my mouth and then pushed my tongue against my teeth. “I can see the advantage.”
He grinned. “Anyway, plan to get your boy toy to help move shit next weekend. I already asked Ash and I'm pretty sure Brax will be there, too.”
I chuckled. “Brax has caught you checking him out a few times,” I said, thinking of my conversation with him at work a few nights before.
“Not like I try to hide it. He's good looking, Alessia says he's got a satisfactory package,” he replied.
“Is it weird I'm both curious and don't want to know about his dick?” I asked, giggling at my nervous feeling.
“Nah. Everyone is a little curious, and even if they don't think they are, most of them would probably look at someone naked just because it's not an everyday thing, you know? Novelty. If Brax whipped it out we'd all stare, maybe grade it and move on with our day.” He paused. “Maybe take a photo for posterity and times when we're single. Actually, no. Allie would be way too amused to have someone pining over her boyfriend's cock.” We laughed at the absurdity of the whole thing.